Star-Crossed Yet Not Aligned

Navigating the Unknown

The Harsh incident left an indelible mark on our relationship. Aditi's behavior shifted like a pendulum, swinging from affectionate to aloof.

Her words and actions became laced with subtlety, making me question everything.

My mind, already a battleground of self-doubt and overthinking, struggled to keep pace.

The fear of losing her gripped me, paralyzing my ability to reason. Every decision, every action, felt hollow, driven by a desperate need to hold on.

Aditi's games intensified, testing my patience and sanity.
She'd flirt with my friends, right before my eyes, leaving me feeling helpless and humiliated. When I'd confront her, she'd brush it off, saying, "Subh, chill, they're your friends, why overthink?"

Her words sliced through me, seeding uncertainty.
Was I indeed overreacting? Was my insecurity driving me mad?

One moment, Aditi would whisper sweet nothings, reassuring me of her love. The next, she'd withdraw, leaving me grasping for answers. Her mixed signals fueled my anxiety, making it hard to distinguish reality from illusion.

I felt lost, trapped in a never-ending cycle of confusion. My usual self was gone, replaced by a shadow of doubt and fear. I yearned to escape, to shut myself away from the world and recharge.

But Aditi's grip was tight. She'd sense my withdrawal and tighten her hold, making me feel guilty for needing space. Her manipulation was suffocating, turning my own thoughts against me.

"Maybe I am overreacting," I'd think.

"Maybe I'm the problem."

As the fog of uncertainty thickened, I realized I had two choices: confront Aditi or succumb to the chaos. But confronting her meant risking loss, and I wasn't ready to face that possibility.

So I remained, suspended in limbo, unable to escape the toxic dance.

December arrived, and with it, the facade began to crumble. Aditi's words, once laced with affection, now dripped with indifference.

"Subh, whatever we did was just enjoyment of my college years. Don't take things personally," she said, her face a mask of nonchalance.

My heart sank. "Enjoyment?" The word echoed in my mind like a slap.

"You used me," I thought, my anger simmered.

"We're from different castes, my father won't agree," she continued, her tone detached.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. "So, everything was a lie?"

Aditi's expression remained unreadable. "Subh, I want to focus on my career now. Let's not get so caught up in us. It's just enjoyment."

My world imploded. "Fuck you," I wanted to scream. "You dragged me into this, gave me false hopes and dreams, and now you're dismissing everything?"

The memories of our intimacy, the whispers of forever, all seemed like a cruel joke. I felt used, exploited.

"How could you?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Aditi shrugged. "I never promised you anything, Subh."

Her words cut deep. I felt like I was drowning in despair, unable to hear my own thoughts.

"Why did you sleep with me?" I demanded, my anger boiling over.

Aditi's expression turned cold. "It was just fun, Subh. Don't make it more than it was."

Fun. The word seared itself into my brain.

I realized then that I'd been living in a fantasy, blinded by love. Aditi's truth shattered my illusions, leaving me lost and broken.

Desperate for solace, I reached out to Tanish, my best friend in Gujarat via Instagram. I poured my heart out, sharing every painful detail.

"Leave her, Subh," Tanish advised. "She's not worth your love."

"I know," I replied, "but I loved her. She was my first love."

Tanish listened patiently, offering words of comfort. "You deserve better, Subh. Don't let her toxic behavior consume you."

But I couldn't shake off the feeling of helplessness.

As fate would have it, I had to return to my hometown for a while. Aditi's behavior escalated in my absence.

Rohan, her new "friend," would send me photos of them together, mocking me. "Look, she's fooling you, and you're a fool!" he'd laugh.

I'd confront Aditi, and she'd dismiss it. "It was Shreya's idea, not mine. Chill, Subh."

My doubts deepened. Was I being blind to her games?

Seeking guidance, I confided in seniors and acquaintances. But to my dismay, they'd either dismiss my concerns or reveal my secrets to Aditi.

The betrayal stung. I realized I had no one to trust.

My college life, once filled with promise, now seems desolate.

As loneliness engulfed me, I questioned my own worth.

Why was I holding on to someone who clearly didn't care?

Was I afraid of being alone?

The darkness closing in, I struggled to find answers.

To be continued