The unforbidden love.

I dont know anymore.

Tw- self harm!!

Mia's pov-

M- I just don't know what to do anymore Charlotte. It's like whatever I do isn't good enough. I'm coping in ways that aren't healthy, and I know they aren't but I can't help it, they are the only way I feel like I have an escape.

I start choking on my words whilst Charlotte holds me tight towards her,stroking my hair and rocking me from side to side.

M- I just want to be liked and loved, for once in my life. No one at works likes me, I don't like myself. My body if disgusting, my hair is lifeless and my skin is breaking out. I just want to be perfect like everyone else. My life is shit and I am very close to not having it anymore. I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with this Charlotte. If you got here a bit later I could have been in a lot of danger.

I immediately stop myself in my tracks, I was over sharing way too much. I look at her with guilt. I feel bad I've just fully told her everything. I bet she feels so put down now and like I'm disgusting.

C- oh sweetheart. I am so sorry you feel like this. Trust me you are perfect, the most perfect,beautiful girl I have ever seen. Your skin is perfect and smooth, your hair is silky and soft, your body if beautiful. You are beautiful. The way you see yourself is all in your head, I wish you could see yourself how I see you. And about the unhealthy coping mechanisms, have you injured yourself in any way whilst I wasn't here?

She's still holding me in a warm embrace, it made me feel so safe. But when she asked me "have you injured yourself in any way whilst I wasn't here" my whole world suddenly stopped and it felt like I had been stabbed in the chest, it was throbbing.

She pushes me back a bit so she can look me in my face and she gives me a sought of stern but 'sorry for me' look. I just look down at my wrist, there was no way I was going to physically say to her "I've been self harming." There is no way.

C- please can I have a look incase they need cleaning or anything sweetheart. I know you don't want to, maybe because of something that happened in the past but trust me I will not judge you. I am here to help I promise. I really do care about you.

I simply just nod at her, she holds my hand and slowly pushes my sleeve up trying her best not to rub the wounds. Thankfully u was we wearing black so all the blood stains had blended into it. She pulls my sleeve all the way up and looks at them in disbelief, I know she feels disgusted. Everyone does, that's just me described as a person. Disgusting.

She just pulls me into another hug and rocks me side to side. Her hugs at the best. She then stands up whilst still hugging me. She grabs her car Keys from the coffee table so I let go of her and she starts to make her way the front door.
M- Sorry for keeping you here if you needed to go.
C- Mia don't be silly, I'm not letting you stay by youself in this state, you can either stay here or you can come stay at mine for as long as you need, I really don't mind.
M- can I stay at yours please I really don't want to be sat in this house,

She nods whilst smiling at me, "okay,thank you Charlotte, I'll go get my stuff now."
I go and pack clothes, enough for two days just incase I really couldn't come home tomorrow. I pack it up really small and out all my makeup in the bag. I didn't take my makeup I'm not sure what I would do. I'd feel so down about myself. Then again even with it don't necessarily feel good about myself.

I've finished getting everything out my bedroom so I go to the bathroom. Everything was still out, the bathroom cabinet was open, leaving all the pills on show. The blade was on the floor with drops of blood. It's sending me back to the mental state, I can't deal with this life anymore. I grab the blade and push it into the back of the phone. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel when I get to charlottes to it's always good to have. I grab my toothbrush shutting the cabinet to hide all the pills away.

I grab the bag and make my way downstairs to Charlotte on the phone to someone.

C- yeah thank you, I'll talk to you later, bye.

I wonder who she was speaking too. I wonder who it was about.
She looks up and smiles at me whilst holding my hand, she opens the door for me and I get madly in the car, it's a cream mini, it's really cute, and cozy, exactly here style. She walks around the car and gets in herself.

The song I love the way you kiss me- artemas starts playing. I love this song, we actually really have a similar music taste.

A/N- I'm sorry if this is a bunch of waffle, I promise this story will get better!!