WHEN LOVE FAILS

Ralph's POV: Lust and Love

From the moment I met Jeng, I felt an undeniable attraction. It was more than just physical desire; it was the way he smiled and the sight of his abs dripping with sweat that made me feel like I couldn't control myself, imagining that someday I could have sex with him.

I was known among my friends as someone who chased after casual flings and thrilling encounters, but with Jeng, things felt different.

"Bakit parang ang saya-saya ko kapag kasama siya?"

I often found myself pondering this question. I craved the thrill of being close to him, yet I sensed a deeper connection brewing beneath the surface of my lustful intentions.

Initially, I was driven by the heat of the moment. The way Jeng smiled at me ignited something primal inside me, a longing to possess him, to explore every inch of his being.

"Gusto ko siyang makuha, hindi lang bilang kaibigan"

"Gusto ko higit pa kami sa pagiging magkaibigan"

I would admit to myself, knowing my intentions were far from innocent. But the more time we spent together, the more I realized that my feelings were evolving into something more profound. Jeng had a way of disarming me, making my heart race and making my manhood hard every time I see him.

But I know, not just with my lustful desire but with a genuine affection I hadn't anticipated. That I want to love him.

One evening, He invited me to his house for a dinner. After that we watch a horror movie as we lounged on the couch after a long day, the tension in the air was palpable. I leaned in closer, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Jeng, sana lagi kitang makasama nang mas matagal"

I said softly, my voice low, laden with longing. I could see the hesitation in his eyes, and I knew he felt it too. The chemistry between us crackled like electricity, and it was hard to ignore the urge to take that leap. But deep down, I wanted more than just a physical connection; I yearned for the chance to truly know him.

"B-bakit?" He asked me.

I slowly reached for his manhood, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through me. Just as I was about to take it in my hand, he pushed me away gently. His eyes widened with surprise, and I could sense a mix of hesitation and desire in his expression.

"Anong ginagawa mo?"  his irritated replied.

But I did it again; I didn't care if he would be angry. All I knew was that I wanted to suck his manhood. I forced him, and he couldn't do anything as I slowly took his manhood into my mouth, sucking him up and down.

I deep-throated him, almost choking on it because of its size, but it was incredibly delicious. I picked up the pace, and I could see his face contorting in pleasure. 

"T-teka..a-ah-hh"

He moaned a lot, which made me more aggressive. I deep-throated him harder and harder until his banana's milk erupted in my mouth. It tasted so good that I swallowed it all.

———

While I continued to thrust into him. I found myself caught between my lust and my growing love for Jeng. The lines began to blur, and I felt torn.

"Sino ba ako? Isang malibog na tao o taong maaaring maging mas seryoso?"

I questioned myself. It scared me to think that I could develop real feelings for someone I had initially viewed as a conquest. Yet, every moment we spent together only solidified my desire to have him, not just in bed, but in my life.

When we finally crossed that line, it was exhilarating. The thrill of passion overwhelmed me as I felt him beneath me, our bodies entwined in a dance of desire.

"Tama ba ito?"

I wondered, but the taste of his milk and the sounds of his pleasure drowned out my doubts. In those moments, I felt alive, consumed by the heat of our connection. Yet, as I surrendered to my lust, a small voice in the back of my mind whispered that this was different-that Jeng was different.

Afterward, as we lay together, I felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over me. I had gotten what I wanted, yet I couldn't shake the feeling that I had crossed into uncharted territory.

"Jeng, okay ka lang ba?"

I asked, trying to gauge his reaction. His smile was soft, and the warmth in his gaze made my heart swell. It was in that moment I realized my feelings had evolved beyond mere lust; I was falling for him, and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Okay lang, pinagod mo ko." His response came out between heavy breaths.

———

As the months went by, my feelings for Jeng grew stronger, intertwining with my desire for him.

"Bakit ang hirap pigilan ng nararamdaman ko?"

"Bakit sa tuwing nakikita ko sya libog na libog ako?"

I thought to myself, grappling with the fear that my past would overshadow this new love. I didn't want to be just the guy who took what he wanted; I wanted to be someone who cherished and respected Jeng. With each laugh we shared and each deep conversation, I found myself wanting to be better for him.

Now, I stand at a crossroads, torn between my past as a lustful man and the genuine love I feel for Jeng.

"Kaya ko bang maging mas seryoso para sa kanya?"

I ponder, hoping to embrace this new chapter of my life. Jeng deserves a love that is sincere, and I'm determined to prove to myself and to him that I can be that man.

In that moment of clarity, I decided that I wouldn't shy away from my feelings any longer. I wanted to embrace this beautiful mess of love and lust, knowing that it was okay to feel both.

"Jeng, hindi lang basta pagnanasa ang nararamdaman ko sayo, dahil gusto kitang maging boyfriend."

I confessed one evening as we sat together, the city lights twinkling outside.

"I really like you Jeng, and I want to see where this goes."

His smile in response filled me with warmth, and I knew I was ready to take the plunge into this new chapter, where lust and love could coexist, shaping a relationship that was authentic and genuine.

 I could envision a future with him, filled with joy, warmth, and passion. This was just the beginning of our journey, and I looked forward to discovering where it would take us, hoping for a love that was as satisfying as it was thrilling.