WHEN LOVE FAILS

CHAPTER 1 - The Beginning and Manuel

The first time I saw Manuel, I never imagined it would be the beginning of something truly special—yet destined to end in tragedy. I was 19 years old, and he was a 20-year-old young man.

I was on the set of a television show, surrounded by extras and the usual noise of a production. But amid the noise and movement, he was the one who immediately caught my attention. His radiant smile and a unique aura seemed to light up the entire place.

We often saw each other during scenes, and every time we were together behind the camera, our friendship slowly deepened. We began talking during breaks, searching for moments of connection between takes. One day, while we were sitting under a tree, he opened up a little more about himself.

“You know, Jeng… when I was a kid, it was really my dream to become an actor,”
he began, his eyes full of passion.

“Really? Why?” I asked, genuinely interested in his story.

“I just love the feeling of people appreciating my acting skills.”
He smiled, and those words felt like stars igniting in my chest.

“How about you? What’s your dream?” he asked.

“M-me? I want to change the world through my stories,”
I answered, as if fate had written our conversation.

“Oh, so you want to be a writer?” he replied.
“Something like that.” I smiled.

With every exchange of words, I found myself falling for him. His energy and joy were contagious. And that’s when I realized… it was the first time I had fallen in love with a man.

As days passed, we became even closer. Every time I was with Manuel, I felt so alive. One morning, my heart was pounding fast.

“Manuel, I know this might ruin our friendship if I tell you this…”
I said, my lips trembling.

“What is it?” he asked, confused.

“I think… I like you. I know we’re both men, but I hope this doesn’t change how you see me.”
I admitted my feelings for him, shy and afraid.

“What? HAHAHAHAHA you like me?”
He laughed—a deep, uncontrollable laugh that even surprised him.

“Why are you laughing? What’s funny?”
I felt insulted.

“Then let’s go, let’s ruin our friendship.”
He said seriously, locking eyes with me.

“H-huh? W-what do you mean?”
I asked, full of curiosity.

“Because… I like you too.”
he answered, then kissed me. I was shocked—my eyes opened wide.

He asked me out on a date, and that’s when our relationship began—during a sweet moment in time.

As time passed, we celebrated our first monthsary and went to a newly opened restaurant.

We didn’t notice it was already evening, caught up in nonstop laughter and conversation.

Eventually, we checked into a hotel because it was too late to go home.

We couldn’t sleep, so we cuddled while talking, as if the night would never end, as if there was no tomorrow.

I was surprised when he suddenly whispered in my ear,
“Hon, let’s make this night meaningful,” followed by a gentle bite.

With our theme song “Kalawakan” playing in the background…

The warmth of his body and the softness of his skin brought me a happiness I had never felt before. With every touch, it was like electricity flowed through my body.

I couldn’t help but moan softly, letting myself drown completely in the moment when we became one in feeling.

As we continued, the world around us seemed to disappear—it was just the two of us. His kisses were full of heat and desire, taking me to a place of pure bliss. In those moments, all fear vanished; only our connection mattered.

But as the night deepened, so did the complications of our relationship. There was something I couldn’t ignore—his past.

That night, in the middle of our intimacy, he suddenly mentioned his ex-boyfriend, Marco.

“Ughh—you feel so good, Marco!”
he blurted, his voice full of passion.

“What? Marco again?”
I interrupted, irritated, and we both fell silent.

I felt the weight of every word he said whenever he remembered his past.

“Sorry, Hon. I didn’t mean to,”
he apologized, sadness in his voice.

“But I told you Marco was my ex, right?”
he asked, and I felt the sorrow in his tone.

“Hmmm, yeah… what exactly happened between you two?”
I answered and asked, even though I knew it would hurt.

“Nothing, let’s just drop it. Can we continue?”
he replied, hesitant.

“Just tell me.”
I insisted.

“Because… sometimes I still think of him. Sometimes, I see him in you.”
he confessed, looking at me with sadness that slowly broke my heart.

As our relationship went on, it became clearer that he wasn’t ready to fully love me.

In every conversation, his past kept resurfacing, and I began to worry about where we were really headed. Until I gathered the courage to ask:

“Hon, I want to know what you truly feel about me. Because… you’re important to me, but I don’t know where this is going. Does this relationship even have a future?”

As we lay side by side, staring at the ceiling, I saw the conflict in his eyes as he thought. After a few moments, he answered.

“Jeng, I like you… but I don’t know if I truly love you. What I know is I’m happy when I’m with you, but I also know I’m not over my ex. I’m not done loving him. And if I continue this, it won’t be fair to you. I’m sorry.”

It felt like a punch to the heart, even though I knew I had to respect his feelings.

“But why did you let yourself enter my life and start a relationship if you weren’t ready?”
I asked softly, my tears falling.

“Sorry…”

Hearing that, I couldn’t help but feel hurt, but I also couldn’t be angry.

On our second monthsary, we decided to end everything. I felt like something had been taken from me, as if a dream had vanished. It was so heavy, so dark—I didn’t know what to do.

But even in pain, I knew it was the right decision.

“Manuel, I loved you from the first moment we met. But if I force myself, we’ll only end up hurting each other more,”
I said while he held me tightly.

“Thank you for everything. It hurts, but I know you’re not the one for me.”
I added, crying.

“I’m sorry, Jeng, if I only hurt you. I hope you find someone who’s truly over their past, so you can experience a love that’s whole and without hesitation.”
he replied, tears streaming down his face.

I slowly removed his arms from around me and gently said,

“I don’t regret meeting you. Take care of yourself always… G-goodbye.”
I whispered softly, staring into his eyes before I turned away.

As I walked away, each step grew heavier, moving farther from him, closer to a new beginning.

Our memories echoed in my mind, but I knew this was the right path. With every step, I felt a mix of sorrow and strength—letting go of what once was, and embracing the unknown.

When I looked back, he was just a shadow, while I kept walking… forward.