𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓

LONELINESS

                                 CHAPTER 6

JANUARY 1ST 1996

Time flew by, and before I knew it, it was New Year's. What's so fucking great about it anyway? Feels pretty messed up to me. Ma's still stuck in the hospital, and the docs are pushing for chemo now.

I had to pick up extra shifts at the club, that was the only way to get by. I felt like I was about to explode. Everything around me was crumbling.

On the verge of eviction, barely sleeping, my body aching all the time, and to top it all off? Yeah, I was probably depressed.

I cried so much I lost my voice. I didn't know who to reach out to. I was even shutting D out, and that made me feel even worse.

There I was, in my room, curtains drawn tight in the middle of the day, drowning in my thoughts.

Then I heard it, rocks hitting my window.

I tried to ignore it, but then a bigger rock hit, and it scared the hell out of me.

I jumped up, yanked the curtains open, and threw the window wide.

"Who the hell is disturb'n my peace? This ain't funny!" I shouted, and then I locked eyes with him those deep blue ocean eyes.

"Fuck wrong with you, new girl? You on your rag or something?" He laughed.

"What are you doing here, Em?" I rolled my eyes.

"You been avoidin' everyone lately. D's worried, you know?" He sighed, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, so D sent you, huh?" I puffed, feeling the cold air hit me and make me shiver.

"Quit talking and open the door unless you want to catch something," he shot back, rolling his eyes as he walked toward the door.

I closed the window, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked awful; my eyes were so puffy, and even water couldn't fix this mess.

The dim light in my room cast shadows that made me feel even more isolated, like I was trapped in a lonely place.

I opened the door for him, his eyes fixating on my face for a few seconds without saying anything, the silence thick with unspoken words. I could feel the weight of his gaze, a mix of concern and confusion that made my heart race.

I closed the door, and he plopped on the couch, making himself comfortable, as if he owned the place. I sat down in front of him, unsure what to say, the air between us crackling with tension.

"Lay, what's up with you? Why you shuttin' everybody out? D even told me you got into 3 fights at your job." He said, waiting for my answer, his voice steady but laced with urgency.

"Nothin' wrong, white boy. Guess this week was just hard on me, that's it." I crossed my arms, avoiding his gaze, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

"See, you lyin' right now. Can't even tell me while lookin' dead in my eyes, yo." He puffed, leaning forward, his intensity making me squirm.

"The hell you expect me to say, Marshall? That my life is miserable? That there's a high chance for me to lose my mom? Or that I'm this fuckin' close to gettin' my ass evicted!" I broke, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest and the truth spilling out.

His eyes widened, shock and anger mixing in his expression. "How the fuck do you expect us to know this shit, Lay? You didn't say nothin', you didn't even tell yo home girl!" He said, frustration boiling over.

"Because I don't need no one's pity. I'm handling this shit." I shot back while my fists tightening.

"Yeah? By cryin' all fuckin' mornin' and night? Or better, gettin' into fights?" His voice got louder, echoing in the small room, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.