The Day We Find Love

Don't You Worry

2010
~Leeteuk

The moment Heewon returned to the table, I knew something was wrong. She looked pale. I could notice that her eyes were unfocused as if her mind was somewhere else entirely.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worried. "You look a little pale."

She brushed it off with a smile, mentioning something about her stomach, but I wasn't convinced. I watched her try to eat, but she barely touched her food. Her hands trembled slightly, and her eyes looked wary as if she'd seen a ghost. I glanced around the room, but nothing seemed out of place. Then I heard a laugh from the table behind me – a group of women, around our age. When I looked back at Heewon, I could see her growing more and more uncomfortable.

I just couldn't ignore it any longer. Something was definitely wrong. "Come on, baby, let's just go home. We can enjoy the rest of the night there, okay?" I stood up and offered her my hand.

She nodded, relief flickering across her face as she took my hand. We walked in silence toward the car, but as soon as we were outside, I could feel her grip tightening. Her breaths were shallow, and she seemed distant like she was somewhere far away. She was struggling to hold it together, and I felt helpless watching her.

As I drove, her panic attack took hold. I glanced over to see her breathing fast, her hands gripping the seat, her eyes unfocused.

"What's wrong, baby?" I tried to reach out then I called her name softly, "Heewon-ah? Choi Heewon-ssi?" But nothing. No response from her. She didn't seem to hear me. I kept glancing over at her, worry plaguing me. Her breathing grew fast and shallow. She was caught in a full panic attack. Panic settled in my chest, too, as I tried to stay calm for her.

I decided to pull over the car and tried to calm her down. "Heewon-ah, breathe. I'm here. It's okay, just breathe." But again, she wasn't responding. I felt helpless beside her. I knew I needed help, and Siwon was the first person that came to mind. So, I quickly called him.

"Yes, Leeteuk Hyung?" he answered.

"It's Heewon. I think she's having a panic attack, and I... I don't know how to calm her down," I said, my voice tight with worry. I quickly explained what had happened.

"Alright, calm down. You're doing a great job. Just bring her home. I'll be there as soon as possible," Siwon said in a calm, steady voice.

Hearing Siwon's voice gave me reassurance. As I continued driving, I kept talking to Heewon softly, hoping she'd know I was there.

***

We arrived home, and Siwon was already there. He helped Heewon inside and settled her in. I helped her sit on her couch while Siwon gave her a blanket. Her body was still trembling.

"Do you need anything? A glass of water, maybe?" Siwon asked. She just nodded.

As Siwon brought a glass of water, I tried to make her comfortable and sat beside her. She took a sip of water and then leaned her head on my lap. She remained silent, but I could feel her trembling starting to subside. She closed her eyes and held my hand tightly.

Siwon sat at the end of the couch. I could see worry and anger in his eyes. Then he approached Heewon and knelt on the floor, taking her other hand in both of his. He kissed her hand and whispered, "You'll be okay, Noona. I'm here now. You don't have to go through this alone anymore."

As he stroked her hair, he stood. I could see now his face a mix of concern and reassurance. He looked at me and said, "I think I can leave her with you, Hyung. I'll be upstairs if you need anything," he said softly, glancing back at Heewon as if to ensure she would be okay. "Just... keep an eye on her, alright? She's been through a lot."