The Day We Find Love

The Only One Who Sets You Free

2014
~ Choi Heewon

On the day of his discharge, I was so excited yet nervous. My mind raced with everything I wanted to say, all the little things we hadn't shared in so long. I wanted him to know I'd been waiting, that I'd kept him close in every way I knew how.

When he finally called to ask if we could meet, I felt my heart leap. But as he arrived, something felt... off. He looked like a stranger, his face looked like he was carrying a weight I couldn't touch.

"We need to talk," he said quietly, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

I felt my breath catch. "Jeongsu-ah, what's going on?"

He hesitated, then spoke in a voice so distant I barely recognized it. "Heewon-ah, I'm sorry but... I think I need a break."

"A break?" My eyes widened, shock spreading through me. "How much time do you need, Jeongsu-ah?" I knew what he meant, but I clung to a thread of hope, searching his face for any sign I'd misheard.

He looked down, heavy with the words he couldn't say. "Heewon-ah, I don't know. I think... maybe it's best for us to continue our lives apart."

A cold wave of confusion and anger surged through me, colliding with a deep ache. When had it gone so wrong?

I reached for his hand, grasping at any remaining thread between us. "Is it because of the proposal? We can work it out, Jeongsu-ah. We can talk about it again. I still have the ring..."

He looked away, pain flickering in his eyes. "No, it's not that," he said softly, shaking his head. "This isn't about the proposal, Heewon. It's... it's me. After everything that's happened, I just don't know if I can be the person you need. I don't even know who I am anymore."

My heart sank, watching him struggle, feeling the wall between us solidify. "Then let me help you. We can get through this together. Isn't that what we always said?"

He drew in a shaky breath, his eyes filled with a sadness that crushed me. "Heewon-ah, you don't deserve someone who's this... broken. I can't keep holding you back."

"Let me help you, then!" I pleaded, my voice trembling as tears welled up. "You've always been there for me, now it's my turn to be there for you." I paused, my voice breaking. "Please, Jeongsu-ah!" My tears fell freely, tracing paths down my cheeks.

He closed his eyes as if trying to block out the pain. "I wish it were that simple, Heewon-ah. But I need to find myself again, and I can't do that while dragging you down with me."

"I don't mind, Jeongsu-ah—"

"But I do, Heewon-ah!" he raised his voice, the frustration evident in his tone. Then he took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.

I felt my heart shatter, the pieces scattering in the space between us. "So this is it? After everything we've been through, you're just... giving up?"

His eyes softened, but his resolve remained firm. "I'm not giving up, Heewon-ah. I'm trying to do what's best for both of us."

I shook my head, tears still streaming down my face. "How can this be what's best? We promised to face everything together. Don't you remember?"

He looked away, his jaw clenched. "I do remember. But things have changed. I've changed. I need to figure out who I am without dragging you into my darkness."

I stepped closer, my voice trembling. "I don't care about the darkness, Jeongsu-ah. I care about you. We can fight together."

He sighed deeply, the weight of his decision evident in his eyes. "I wish it were that simple. But I need to do this alone. Please, Heewon-ah, let me go."