POWERLESS • mikaelson mate

chapter ten

CHAPTER TEN

"So, what happened?" Kol asked me the following morning after I told him the story of how his sister and I crossed paths.

I shrugged, "We wanted different things."

I wished that I could tell him the full truth but I was currently unable to voice what happened between Rebekah and I. Just thinking about those blissful moments in Corfu made my heart ache with sadness.

I fixated my attention on a slice of toast, which I was currently buttering. I felt Kol's eyes on me as I picked up the plate and brought it to the kitchen table. I took a seat and forced myself to eat despite my lack of appetite.

"My sister has always adored the idea of having a mate," Kol said carefully as he took the seat opposite me. I furiously avoided meeting his gaze and I longed for the comforting presence of Sidney the tortoise. "She would have wanted anything that you wanted."

Discarding the half eaten toast on the plate, I forced myself to look up at my mate. I bit my lip as I contemplated my options. I could lie to him or I could tell him the truth and devastate him. I had chosen to lie to Rebekah, hoping to spare her pain, but she was devastated anyway.

My mouth went dry as I forced myself to speak, "I pushed Rebekah away. I told her that I did not wish to be her mate."

Kol frowned and tilted his head to the side. I shrunk under his observant gaze and had to look away from him. I took steady breaths in and out as I anticipated the next line of questioning.

"You lied to her." Kol said finally, his eyes flashing with disappointment.

"I wished to spare us both the pain of the truth." I whispered slowly, looking down at the table.

"If you're not comfortable answering, I completely understand," Kol began, his voice gentle, "But do you think you would be able to tell me the truth?"

I sucked in a breath, "The truth might hurt you."

"I can deal with it, darling, especially if it will take a weight off of your shoulders."

Slowly, I nodded in agreement. "It's difficult to talk about..."

"Take your time." Kol urged me, placing a comforting hand over mine.

I kept my eyes fixed on our interlocked hands in the center of the table as I began to speak, "Things were going well between us. We were beginning to discuss the future and I was starting to consider accepting the bond. I was so happy but then Rebekah started to talk about something that ruined it all: children. She was so excited because she knew that mates of vampires could carry their children."

"Do you not want children?" Kol asked slowly.

"I can't have children." I replied, feeling tears well in my eyes. It was the first time I had ever uttered those words, despite having acknowledged the truth long ago.

Kol nodded as he rubbed a soothing thumb over my hand. "Did you tell Rebekah?"

I shook my head, "You should have heard the excitement in her voice when she spoke about it, meanwhile I was dying inside! I could not crush her dreams, Kol, so I lied. I told her that I was not ready for a romantic relationship with her."

"I'm sorry, Kresley." Kol whispered and I smiled sadly as the tears began to fall.

"The worst thing is, it's my fault that I can't have children!" I sobbed, pulling my hand away from Kol's, "One stupid adolescent mistake ruined everything."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kol asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He seemed unsure as to how to handle the situation but was willing to try for my sake.