𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝| 𝐓𝐉𝐌

11 x Focus

Ja Morant
Grizzlies Practice Gym
9:55 A.M.

I hated having to leave Nylah to go to practice but not gone lie lately I been getting back to really loving basketball. This the happiest I've ever been truthfully. Ain't been in no scandals on social media or nothing like that.

The only thing that's talked about now when it comes to me are my skills and they not slacking.

We finally wrap up practice and it's just me, Jaren and Marcus putting up shots and having a lil talk.

"So you locked in locked in ? Like ready to get married type shit ?" I ask Jaren since the conversation was about him and his girl.

Jaren nodded and smiled before answering "Yeah not even gonna lie, But ima wait till our 1 year anniversary then propose."

We all were in there going crazy after hearing his answer, Jaren always been the lover boy type. So it was good seeing him happy with his girl.

Now all the eyes and questions were on me "And how are you and Nylah ?"

"When yall gone lock in and make it official ?" Marcus added.

I hesitate a little before answering cause I just don't know honestly. "We straight and I don't know if it'll ever get like real serious."

Both of them niggas looked at me like I was speaking Spanish.

"You mean to tell me the girl who you literally talked about everyday for 3 months because she had you blocked.. You don't know if you want it to be serious ?" Jaren asked with another confused look.

"Maybe you just not thinking straight this morning but nigga when yall round each other yall be staring at each other like y'all the only ones in the room."  He added again while Marcus nodded in agreement.

I let out a deep sigh before talking "It's complicated as hell man. I know I got feelings for her and even though she try to hide it I know she got em for me. But I don't know if I'm ready..."

Which in all honesty was the truth I didn't even know the first thing about a healthy relationship and my perception of love is so jaded.

I be on all that possessive shit knowing it's not healthy. On top of that I just really don't want to hurt this girl, she deserves the world.

Man I'm so confused on how I'm feeling right now. But what I do know is it's time me and her have a real talk. 

Me and the boys wrap up our conversation and I head out to my car. I FaceTimed Nylah to see what she was doing and also invite her over so we could have our convo.

She answered the phone with her lil glasses on and propped the phone up while she sorted some papers in her office.

Man I was having trouble staying focused she looked so damn good. I had never seen her in her glasses, she definitely needed to wear them more. Especially when we- nevermind.

"Ja did you call just to stare at me ?" I hear her voice ring out through the phone which snapped me out of my trance. 

"My bad lil mama, I had zoned out. But I want you to come over."

"What time ?" She asked while pushing her glasses up on her face.

"Whenever you finish what you doing is fine."

She nodded while looking down at her watch "I'll be done in about an hour or so. So I'll be over after that."

After we got off the phone I headed home so I could shower and be in place for when she arrived. 

1 hour later

As I'm walking down the stairs I hear Nylah opening the door. "I love being able to do that." She smiled. I had given her the passcode to get into the house anytime she wanted.

I give her a hug before quickly picking her up and carrying her to the couch while she laughed and demanded I put her down.

"Okay so what did you want to talk about today sir ?"

"Us." I replied back while slightly getting nervous. I didn't know how this conversation would end, I just knew my goal was to be fully honest.

I watched as her face sort of lit up after my answer and she proceeded to say "Can I go first ? There's so much I feel like I need to say."

I nod letting her go ahead first and speak her mind. She started off by going into detail about a nightmare she had about us and our situation and how it made her realize she needed to tell me how she felt.

From how this conversation was starting off I figured she was going to tell me she needed space or something like that but to my surprise it was the opposite.

"I just know I haven't felt like this about anyone in so long, so it kind of scares me... I feel like I'm beating around the bush so I'm just gonna say it... I have strong feelings for you Ja and I really wanted to know do you feel the same way ?"

This was the perfect moment for me to tell her I feel the same even though I'm skeptical about being in a relationship again.

But instead of the part where I tell her how much I like her back comes out the only part that came out was my skepticism.

"Are you sure though ? I thought you wanted to stay focused on work and just keep things how they are ?" I asked while trying to ignore the death glare she was giving me now after hearing my response.

"Well that's not exactly what I wanted to hear. So I'm just gonna go and save myself from anymore further embarrassment."

I jump up to stop her from gathering her things "Chill. You know I have feelings for you too Nylah, I just don't know if a relationship would be the right thing for us to do because I don't want to hurt you."

Even though it literally felt like I was hurting her right in this moment.

A nigga was going 0-2 right now, nothing that came out my mouth was making the situation better at all. It was evident she was regretting almost everything she had said to me and probably everything we've ever done.

"It's okay Ja, we're good. We can just stay friends and keep things how they are there's no hard feelings." She finally replied back.

"You sure ?"

"Most definitely." She smiled. "You want to order some food ?"

"Hell yeah lil mama you know I'm hungry at all times." We both laughed while I passed her my phone to pick whatever restaurant she wanted.

Although we were laughing and chilling like usual everything felt different now. I couldn't help but beat myself up this was literally my chance to be with the girl of my dreams but I let fear get in the way.

Yeah this for sure was a fuck up on my end but I'm not gonna give up. I gotta put my fears aside and just go for it. Just gotta figure out how though.

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authors note: sorry this chapter is so short, the next one will be much longer.

To be continued..
-authormeunknown