Money Trees

29 ✮ love lost

Gaia Roth passed away during the night.

The doctors came out to where Mai, Apollo, and his mother sat in terrible anticipation to break the news. The main doctor's eyes were soft and she spoke with the gentle words of finality they dreaded. Lillian's face crumpled, her shoulders folding inward and shaking with each sob. She was hollow, worn down by a battle she couldn't win.

Apollo held his mother tightly, and Mai stayed close. She knew Apollo wanted her there but she felt useless. She felt guilty mourning Gaia's death, knowing that she had only known her briefly. But anyone who met Gaia would instantly fall in love with her. Her loss would be felt by everyone she touched.

  The next day passed in a blur. Lillian had quietly arranged the funeral herself before Gaia died, and Mai could see in every small detail- the carefully chosen flower arrangements, the delicate program with small ballerina silhouettes on the border- that this was the last act of love she could give her daughter.

  The chapel was a small, quiet place, filled with close family and friends who wept softly as they remembered Gaia. Dennis Roth was there, parked in the back with two marshals on either side of him. He left quickly afterwards, probably wanting to avoid talking to anyone.

  Mai's role was to remain by Apollo's side. He hadn't spoken much but they were both comfortable in each other's silence. The private funeral was a good idea because it prevented the awkwardness of distant friends or vaguely familiar strangers offering their faux condolences and pity. Apollo didn't have to say it; she knew from how tightly he was holding her hand that he appreciated her being there.

A small group of close friends and family followed the Roths to their home for a food reception. Lillian did her best to talk to people but for most of the day she had been just as quiet as her son. The only thing keeping her upright was the support of her three sisters who had helped her get through the day, held her hand for every little step.

The sun was setting and mourners were starting to leave. Mai was cautious that Apollo had only let her into his world a short time ago. She didn't want to overstay her welcome or make things harder for him.

"I... I should probably get going," Mai murmured, eyeing him carefully.

A look of surprise flashed on his face. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you probably want to be alone. I don't want to make things harder for you."

He looked almost offended. "Oh... I guess you can leave whenever you want."

  Mai nodded quietly. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek, not really knowing what to say. She had half-expected him to ask her to stay.

  "I'll... I'll see you," She settled on, silently cringing at how awkward she was being. A few weeks previous she wouldn't have shown any hesitance around him. He had been her right hand.

  She turned around to grab her coat, only for him to pull her back. A soft gasp left her lips.

  "Don't leave me. I know I don't deserve it but can you stay? Please. I... I need you, Mai."

  She cupped his cheek. "Of course."

  She interlocked their fingers and nodded her head towards the kitchen. "Did you eat yet?"

  "I'm not really hungry. Can we just go to bed?"

  Mai looked around. The place was nearly empty. She would have been reluctant to leave Apollo's mother alone if it weren't for her sisters, surrounding her like bodyguards. She didn't need Apollo and Mai.

  "Let's go," Mai said before leading him upstairs.

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  While Apollo was in the shower, Mai took pleasure in snooping around his childhood room. Unfortunately, it wasn't very child-like. She knew Apollo had been forced to grow up too quickly but there was no hint at all that a child ever lived in the room. In lieu of fairytales and comic books, his shelves were overfilled with books about finance, textbooks and journals about the economy and the law. No posters of superheroes or sports stars- only Post-Its with to-do lists. The only sign of childhood was a faint growth ladder plotted on the door frame. Her fingers ran down the door frame, tracing his life. In blue was Apollo, with his different heights . She could point out the year he went through puberty through the foot difference in subsequent years. Beside the blue was an even fainter pink. It stopped two years previous but from the short heights, Mai suspected the marks were Gaia's.

She found a t-shirt and shorts for herself and some clothes for him which she left on his bed.

  Apollo returned to the room, steam bouncing off his bare chest and wet footprints trailing behind him on the hardwood floors.

  She met his bloodshot eyes. He had been crying in the shower. His entire face had gone red.

  "Apollo..."

  He shook his head. "I.. I can't...Not right now."

  She understood. If he attempted to start talking, he would break down.

  "I found your clothes. I left you some on your bed."

  He nodded, glancing down at the towel around his hips.

  To save them the awkwardness, Mai excused herself. "I'll get us some water."

  She returned downstairs to the kitchen. There, she found Apollo's mother sitting down at the table while her sisters cleaned the place up.

  "Oh. Hi," Mai said.

  Lillian gave her a weak smile before returning to stare blankly at the wall.

  Mai copied what the sisters were doing and started gathering things to put in the trash. One of the sisters stopped her and patted her shoulder.

  "It's okay. Go take care of Alexander. We got it here."

  Mai nodded and took two bottles of water for them. Before she left, she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she found Lillian giving her a sad smile. Before she could say something, Lillian embraced her in a hug.

"Thank you for being there for him," She whispered. "He wouldn't have been able to get through today without you."

"He had you-"

"But he needed you." She took Mai's face in her hands. "Thank you."

Mai gave her a soft smile before leaving the room to return to Apollo. She found him aimlessly pacing around the room and had to gently pull him to his bed, where she climbed in beside him. He gripped her desperately before finally letting the tears he had been holding back all day stream out of his eyes. She held him tighter in response, running her fingers gently through his hair. They lay in silence, minutes slipping by in a strange, timeless haze. She could feel his tears seeping through her t-shirt.

Then, in a voice thick and raw, Apollo spoke her name. "Mai?"

She opened her eyes, gazing down at him. "Yeah?"

"It feels... it feels almost trivial to say this now, but if it hasn't become obvious by now..." He hesitated, drawing in a shaky breath. "I am totally and irrevocably in love with you. I love you, Mai Cheng."

Her heart tightened, a bittersweet warmth blooming deep in her. She rested her forehead against his, the words settling between them. "I love you too, Apollo."

And there, in the quiet of his room, they held each other, bound by loss, bound by love, bound by a futile hope that maybe they stood a chance.

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Two chapters and an epilogue remaining !! <3