reflection *ೃ༄ mark lee

ೃ༄ 8

sowon rubbed the sleep from her eyes, the sunlight shown through the window reminding her of the long day ahead of her. she sighed, recalled her late-night conversation with mark, which had been fun in the moment, but now felt like a poor choice. she swung her legs over the bed and began to hurry through her morning routine.

after a quick breakfast, she grabbed her bag and headed down to the front of the dorms where the boys had been waiting for her in the van. the cool morning air greeted her as she stepped outside of the door. she knew if she were in her own body, this would enough to make her nauseous for the whole morning. she guessed mark didn't have the same response to the cold, because she felt perfectly fine. the van was not too far away, she could basically hear the infectious laughs of the boys fro where she was standing.

"good morning, mark!" renjun waved, a bright smile lighting up his face. "you look like you just woke up." he laughed.

"thanks for the compliment." she teased, rolling her eyes playfully as she climbed into the van. "i just didn't get much sleep last night."

as sowon settled into her seat, she noticed the concerned looks on the boys' faces. the last few days had been filled with random looks so she wasn't too phased.

"are you okay?" jaemin whispered, nudging sowon's arm after she sat down, his tone oddly full of genuine concern.

"i'm fine, the dances and schedules have just been a lot recently, but i'm working on it." she tried to laugh, working on being more convincing to the boys. sowon turned to really loo into jaemin's eyes for the first time since she had switched bodies with mark. it felt strange to be so close to him, as the closest she'd ever been to an idol was through a screen. this newfound proximity stirred something within her, excitement and definitely nervousness. jaemin's expression was warm and soft. she knew that this was expression of emotion was towards his friend mark, not so much herself within him, but still it made her feel a sense of connection she hadn't expected. in that moment, the gap between their worlds had shrank, and she realized that this was really the world she was living in.

jaemin leaned in slightly, his eyes sparkling. "hey, i don't know why you're being so hard on yourself right now. it's almost like this past week or two a switch flipped and you're some new person." sowon held her breath. "you're an amazing dancer and an even better performer, we've all seen how hard you've been working. just please trust yourself!"

sowon was a bit taken aback by what he had said to her. not knowing what to say next, she just nodded her head at him and turned to look out the now moving van's window.

the morning sun was rising, casting a golden hue over the landscape as the van rolled along. sowon watched the scenery blur by, as much as she wanted to message mark to ease her nerves, she felt like it would be too risky to do in the car with six people who are currently watching her every move.

as they arrived, the sight before them was breathtaking. the feeling was surreal as she looked up to the stadium before her. the crew was already setting up, focusing on setting up equipment and props, while the boys spilled out of the van.

sowon lifted her head, wondering what the photoshoot would bring for her. the pressure of performing was weighing on her, especially since mark had an image to upkeep. just then, she remembered mark's encouraging words and pointers from the night before. taking a deep breath, sowon let those words settle. she could do this.

after a quick briefing from the director, sowon and the boys headed to the hair and makeup area set up nearby. sowon settled into a chair, feeling the weight of the moment still looming in her chest. as the stylist brushed through her hair, she glanced at the boys, who were spread across the other chairs chatting amongst themselves. as she watched them, she felt a twinge of longing. she knew mark was part of their group, no doubt, yet she couldn't shake her own timid and shy persona. she almost watched that drive them away from mark. while they laughed and joked, she found herself lost in her own thoughts.

"why am i holding back?" she thought to herself, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. she yearned to channel mark's energy, embracing the way he interacted with the other boys without overthinking her every move.

just as sowon was coming out of her thoughts, haechan playfully threw something at her. suprised, sowon instinctively reached down to grab the thing that had landed in her lap. an uneasy smile forms on haechan's lips as he stares at sowon examining the thing he threw at her.

slowly, a smile spread upon her lips and she tossed the empty container back to haechan. the playful force of the throw made haechan dodge it dramatically, stumbling backwards almost as the others erupted in laughter. with that, the nervousness from earlier melted away for the time being.

sowon left the hair and makeup area feeling ready. after changing into her first outfit, she took a moment to admire her reflection. the vibrant colors of her outfit matched the atmosphere of the day perfectly.

as she made her way to the shooting site, the sun shone brightly, casting a warm glow over the area. the crew walkers still setting up cameras as she came to a stop in front of her first photo station. when the crew was ready for her, the nerves were slowly starting to set in again.

taking a deep breath to suppress the feeling, she focused on the moment. as the first few takes began, sowon quickly realized that things weren't going as smoothly as she had hoped. the photographer seemed to be directing her a lot in the beginning, suggesting adjustments to her poses and expressions after each take.

"try to relax a bit, mark." he had advised, watching as she stiffened. "and give me a softer expression."

sowon nodded her head, shaking her arms to help release the tension. with every click of the camera, she could sense the boys watching from a distance, their supportive smiles were reassuring her. although the pressure was definitely still there, she appreciated them. as sowon was trying finding her groove, she noticed chenle and jisung walking across the field towards her.

"is it okay if we pull mark out for a second?" chenle asked the photographer. with a sigh, he nodded. sowon followed after the two younger boys, their expressions quickly turning serious.

"hey we wanted to talk to you," chenle started, his voice steady. "what's bothering you, like what's really bothering you. you have not been yourself and now it's really starting to concern us."

sowon felt a lump in her throat form. his directness caught her off guard, and for just a brief moment, she concerned sharing the truth about the body switch with him, but jisung was there too and she didn't know how many people they would tell. it felt like a weight she was carrying alone, and part of her really wanted to confide in someone else, but right now just wasn't the right time.

but as she looked into his concerned eyes, she hesitated. instead she took a deep breath and smiled. "it's just a lot of pressure, i guess. i just really want to do well in this photoshoot since it's been months since the last dream comeback." chenle studied her face for a moment, sensing that there was more beneath the surface. he exchanged a look with jisung before brushing it off.

"well, stopping thinking about it too hard." she nodded at him. with a reassuring smile exchanged between them, the two boys made their way back to rejoin the others. in due time would she reveal her secret, but now just wasn't the time.