The Weight of Tomorrow (A Marina Story)

Chapter Eleven

Maya was about to start her tenth cycle of treatment, feeling nervous for reasons she couldn't quite pinpoint. Unlike her previous two treatments, she hadn't felt this anxious since she had originally started treatments, and she wondered if the nerves stemmed from last week's ordeal with influenza and how unwell it had made her.

Since Maya's experience with the flu, Carina had become extra protective, which Maya appreciated but also found a bit suffocating as time went on. Eventually, she had to convince Carina to return to work on Tuesday, realizing that at this rate, Carina wouldn't be back until Maya had finished her treatments. Carina's concern was overwhelming; every small cough or symptom would send her reaching for the thermometer.

That morning, before heading into the hospital, Maya decided to talk to Carina about how she was feeling. She reassured her that she was better now and that Carina could ease her worries. However, Carina replied that she felt she couldn't stop worrying until Maya's treatments were over and she was in remission.

Maya managed to reason with Carina, expressing her desire for Carina not to let her health consume every aspect of her life. She emphasized the importance of Carina taking care of herself and allowing Maya to have moments of normalcy whenever she felt okay. Though the conversation made Carina emotional, she was understanding and acknowledged that she had indeed been a bit intense since Maya had fallen ill.

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The week of treatment ten went as smoothly as Maya's regular treatments could go. She experienced a rough few days at the beginning, grappling with nausea and discomfort. However, by the end of the week, she started to feel a bit better. However, she noticed that her exhaustion and fatigue were exceptionally intense, leading her to need at least two naps a day right up until the day before her eleventh cycle.

This prompted her and Carina to decide that Maya would not return to work until she finished her treatments—something Maya never thought she would do. But after being sick, and listening to the wise words of her wife, she finally found herself shifting her perspective; she no longer viewed herself as weak but rather recognized that her body was fighting hard and showing strength in its own way.

When Maya voiced this newfound outlook to Carina, she was met with a warm smile and a proud response. Carina shared how amazed she was by Maya's resilience throughout the entire journey, emphasizing how strong and courageous Maya had been.

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Treatment cycle eleven unfolded much like the week before, with Maya sleeping a lot. Carina went to work multiple times throughout the week, always carrying a weight of worry for her wife. However, she was no longer being overbearing, reminding herself that the likelihood of Maya getting sick again before finishing her treatments was very slim.

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The night before Maya's last treatment felt surreal. She couldn't believe that it had been twelve long weeks since she first started, and she was shocked to be nearing the end, especially after feeling like giving up multiple times over the past few months.

As Maya and Carina lay in bed together on the morning of week twelve, they talked excitedly about preparing the nursery. Maya shared all her plans of setting up the cot and rocking chair, painting the walls and buying lots of baby clothes, when she finally had the energy to do so. She also expressed her eagerness to return to active duty, missing her "firegasms." Although the thought of Maya being back on active duty worried Carina, she couldn't help but laugh at Maya's playful term.

Maya then brought up the topic of baby names. Over the past few weeks, she had taken to joking about various names that she knew Carina wouldn't approve of for their daughter. Names like "Barney," "Mini Maya," "Bambi," and "Carol" had left Carina in hysterics.