The Weight of Tomorrow (A Marina Story)

Chapter Seventeen

Maya's first chemotherapy appointment had arrived, and unlike with radiation, she was fortunate to have Carina by her side this time around. Dr. Foster had organized for Maya to undergo eight cycles of chemotherapy treatment, following a four-week cycle. This meant that Maya would have chemotherapy for three consecutive days and then have a break for three and a half weeks before starting the process all over again.

Carina had also arranged for Maya to undergo cold cap therapy before her appointment for thirty minutes, and she would need to continue it afterward for an hour and a half. While the cold cap therapy was definitely uncomfortable, it was bearable. Having Carina there to support her made a significant difference, providing a sense of comfort and strength as they faced this new chapter together.

Now, Maya was sitting in a semi comfortable recliner chair, in a room with about six other people, all going through chemotherapy at different stages of their treatments. Everyone welcomed Maya with open arms, sending her reassurances that she would be okay. Miranda was also in the room, supporting Maya during her first treatment and helping her get settled before heading off to do more work.

Maya felt nervous but not as bad as she had before her first radiation treatment had made her feel; having Carina there definitely helped. The warmth of her wife's presence provided a comforting anchor amidst the uncertainty of what chemo was going to do to Mayas body and it reminded her that she wasn't alone in this journey.

A nurse came over and started to get Maya prepared, inserting an IV into her arm and bringing over a few different IV bags that contained hydration fluids and Mayas personal chemotherapy cocktail, as the nurse called it. Just as the nurse was about to connect the bags to Maya's arm, Carina gave her hand a quick supportive squeeze. Maya hadn't realized they had been completely silent for the past fifteen minutes. She was lost in her thoughts, not necessarily thinking about anything specific, just feeling a bit numb and finding the whole situation surreal.

The nurse advised Maya that she would feel the drugs entering her system and that if she needed anything, she can call out to her but she would be checking on Maya every fifteen or so minutes as well.

The treatment process would take around four hours, so the nurse informed Maya that she would bring food around a bit later. Maya nodded in response as she observed the nurse connect the tube to her arm. The nurse then turned the lever near the bag, and Maya watched as the tinged yellow liquid slowly flowed through the small tube and eventually entered her arm. It was a strange sensation; Maya definitely felt the drugs entering her system. It was cold and slightly uncomfortable, even unsettling, causing her to shiver in response.

"You okay, bambina?" Carina asked softly.

Maya looked at her wife and gave her a small smile and nod. "Yeah, I think so. It feels... weird.. cold."

Carina gave her wife a small smile tinged with sadness. "It's normal for it to feel a bit cold," she reassured Maya.

Maya tried to get comfortable and settle into the chair, knowing she would be there for a while. Carina had brought a bag filled with things to do: books, logic puzzles, an iPad, headphones, and her work laptop so she could get some paperwork done. She wasn't going to leave Maya's side during her treatments, having already worked it out with the chief that she would be unavailable for appointments or surgeries whenever Maya was undergoing chemotherapy and up to a week afterwards. Although Maya had initially encouraged Carina not to do this, she later realized she wanted her wife with her; she didn't think she could face it alone.

"Do you need anything? A book, iPad? I'm going to try to get some work done," Carina asked Maya.

"Maybe the headphones? I might listen to some music," Maya replied.