Snow On the Beach (Taylor Swift x Reader)

right where you left me

Taylor's POV

I stood in the doorway, debating my next course of action. Joe was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. I knew he was aware of my presence; he was waiting for my reaction. He'd watched me that morning so he knew I didn't take lunch with me after refusing to eat it with him. I hadn't seen my best friend all week and I wanted to eat with her, I felt more comfortable that way.

My therapist explained to me that my struggles with eating were probably a result of stress and anxiety. My goal was to lessen it and find a healthy way of coping. The problem was, that both these feelings were a result of my relationship with Joe and I was terrified of speaking out. We had been fine for all these years, I didn't understand what the problem was. I thought he was just having a hard time but it had evolved into something more.

Should I ask him about the card?

After a few moments of awkward silence, he finally looked up at me, smiling. He opened his arm in a gesture to invite me to sit next to him and I obliged, my heart thumping against my chest. He still wasn't speaking, his eyes scanning my face, trying to decipher my emotions. He looked into my eyes and I knew that he saw it: the uncertainty and panic. Just as I opened my mouth, he interrupted.

"I need to talk to you about something." So maybe he was going to bring up the card. "I figured out the perfect month for our wedding." My heart stopped.

"Joe, we're not engaged yet, remember?" I joked, forcing myself to laugh.

"But we've talked about it," he said, "And you always have to plan ahead because of your career. I'm just being sensible about it." His arm tightened around my waist and I rubbed the back of my neck, my skin pricked with heat from his touch. My reaction to him didn't make sense anymore.

"Okay," I said, "What were you thinking?" How could I bring up the card situation to him?

..........................................................................

Y/n's POV

Loneliness can be deadly – it exemplifies everything that's already there and gives someone a dangerous amount of time to think with no distractions. Thoughts with freedom tend to evolve and branch into unpleasant scenarios and interpretations.

I held my phone in my hand, reading over my message before rewriting it again and editing large sections. I couldn't stand the thought of Taylor being mad at me and I needed to make amends, even if I didn't know what I was apologising for. After typing up a satisfactory message, I finally hit send. I went upstairs to try and sleep but my blank lock screen and haunting doubts drove all the exhaustion from my mind away, leaving my tired body in a helpless trap. I would do anything to restore my energy but my brain was too awake to let me.

After an hour of tossing and turning, I finally gave in to my restlessness. I took my phone with me downstairs and left it on the keyboard, switching it on. It was all I could fit into the apartment and I wasn't keen on the idea of spending too much on another piano. I played a few chords I had written down a couple of weeks ago, beginning to formulate lyrics.

If I think of you, I know I won't sleep,

The dagger I left went in too deep.

After creating a first draft for the verse and chorus in the early hours of the morning, I heard my phone buzz. I grabbed my phone and opened up the message on my screen.

Today wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for snapping at you but I don't want to talk about it. Please don't mention it tomorrow.

I let out a sigh of relief but I still felt worried for her. I didn't understand why she was keeping her mouth shut about the situation. I still had no answers to why it had even happened in the first place but it looked like I wouldn't have any anytime soon. Regardless of how I was feeling, I had to respect her boundaries no matter what.