What the mask hides.

5

Flashback

Lexa ended up seeing the school as a farm, the students were cattle, who followed what they were leading. The bullying didn't diminish over the years, first it was the football team and the cheerleaders, that spread like the fucking plague. Some of them thought it was bad, of course, but fear silenced their mouths, wanting to avoid leaving the invisibility zone, wanting to avoid being done to the same thing that was done to Lexa Woods the weirdo.

Indra no longer knew what to do, she barely saw her daughter smile, she had raised complaints and even threatened to file a complaint for discrimination when she found out that her daughter's right to access the women's locker room had been taken away, then her right to the women's bathrooms and all the places where the cheerleaders had access was taken away and they refused to let her enter.

One night, Lexa gave up and, crying, approached her mother to tell her that she wanted to have surgery. Indra hugged her and chatted with the green-eyed girl:

- Do you really want to do that for yourself?

- I want to be accepted, I want them to stop rejecting me because of my condition

Indra gave him a kiss on the forehead:

- Honey, you can't do something just to please others. If you're going to do something that's always for you, the world will always end up looking for something to criticize. They won't forget why you had surgery. - Lexa lowered her head and let the tears that weighed like lead fall. - Do you want to do it for yourself? I'm looking for the best doctor specialized in these issues.

- I can't imagine myself any other way. I'd look like a stranger in the mirror if I had the surgery. I'm tired of them being mean, I hate them, I hate school, I hate myself for being born like this - she concluded almost in a whisper - I hate being born.

- Don't say that- her mother said with concern- you are beautiful and you are perfect

You're beautiful, you're perfect, you're unique... she'd always heard the same old story from her mother for as long as she could remember. But what Lexa saw every time she looked in the mirror was an amorphous being, a being she hated with all her soul. Suicidal thoughts soon began to appear, especially when her sister kept encouraging her to do so.

One afternoon, Lexa, in an attempt to hide from the bullies, was under the stands of the field, smoking a cigarette while thinking about the least painful way to take her life, lately those were her fantasies:

- If they catch you smoking here, your hair will fall out.

A girl leaning on one of the bleachers said, looking at the cigarette Lexa had in her hand:

- I'll lose my hair anyway if they catch me, even if it's just me staring into space

The girl slipped through the gaps in the supports and sat next to Lexa, who seemed to ignore her:

- Can I have a cigarette?

Lexa put the cigarette in her mouth and pulled the pack out of her back pocket, tossing it into the girl's hands. She leaned against the thick concrete wall and took a deep drag on the cigarette:

- My name is Sarah

- And I call myself social suicide if they find you talking to me

The girl laughed:

- What a strange name- he shrugged- I know who you are Lexa and I don't care if they see me talking to you.

- But I don't care - she finally dared to look him in the face - you're the quarterback's sister, they see me talking to you and I'm dead