XO

6

Mariah: You know you just won cool dad points for saving me from grumpy Sue

Zac: She can't be that bad (laughing)

Mariah: Trust me she's not a morning person at all which is why my Glammy usually came over to get me ready for school. Speaking of which I'm sorry you had to hear how she speaks to my mom

Zac: Can I ask you something?

Mariah: sure go ahead.

Zac: Is your mom okay? I mean with the whole thing she had with your grandmother?

Mariah: Usually my mom would cry herself to sleep and be in a funk for a few days after she and my grandmother gets into it and it's usually the same shit over and over. I think this is probably why my mom doesn't date or even go out and make friends because my Glammy is always on her ass for wanting to live her life. And my mom deserves to have something more than taking care of me going for her. Can I be transparent with you? And this stays only between us

Zac: Yes promise this entire conversation will stay between us.

Mariah: Okay, I see my mom and I see how she looks lonely at times especially when we go out for dinner and she sees adults hanging out. She's in denial and tries to convince herself that I'm all she needs but I can also tell that she's craving normalcy and adult conversation. She's also very scared of being judged cause that's all she ever gets from her mom. While my Glammy is an amazing grandmother, she's a shitty mother. She never makes my mom forget that she isn't the perfect daughter she always wanted. There are nights my mom would have a glass or more glasses of wine all by herself and she'd just be crying and I don't want to invade her space because I know she's trying to shield me from certain things so I just watch her from the stairs and cry because I'm the reason why she's given up on having a normal life. (Mariah started tearing up)

Zac: Hey everything is going to be okay and hopefully now with the co-parenting thing she goes out and makes some friends.

Mariah: Yeah hopefully she deserves to have some fun. Sorry for being so emo early morning.

Zac: Hey it's okay this will always be a safe space okay

Mariah: Thank you, thank you for stepping up even if you really don't have to.

Zac: You don't ever have to thank me for being a father to you okay. I'm so happy I get to be apart of your life and everything is going to be okay. We'll make sure your mom gets out and starts dating.

My daughter nodded her head and stared out of the window as we continued driving to school. The love she had for her mom was pretty evident and Fatima did an amazing job raising her. She's smart, intelligent, friendly and well mannered even though her mouth is filthier than most kids her age. I guess that's because Fatima allows her to express herself freely.

Zac: Have an amazing day at school princess

Mariah: I will and thank you for dropping me off dad.

Zac: Anytime. What time is pick up?

Mariah: Mom is actually coming to get me on her way back from the office but I'll call you tonight okay.

Zac: Okay.

I drove off feeling the heaviness she carries from being concerned about her mother. My heart ached thinking about Fatima sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in tears. I wish I could make things better but I also know that I have to respect boundaries especially since the only thing connecting us is the beautiful daughter we share.