Jesus's Diary

My Baptism and Temptation

I walked to the Jordan River, searching for my dear cousin. When I found him, I greeted him. "I have a favor to ask you, John."
"What is it, my dear cousin?"
"Could you baptize me? Please?"
"What? But you're the Messiah, I should be needing to be baptized by you. You could be baptized by anyone else, someone far greater than me, but you come to me?"
"It is not for me, but for what God wants me to do. Will you baptize me?"
John nodded. We went into the Jordan. We did the ritual of being baptized, and I was slowly dunked into the water. When I came back up, I thanked John. I walked out of Jordan and I looked up. I saw the spirit of God descending like a dove. He was alighting on me. I heard a voice from heaven. "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."
I immediately smiled and thanked God.

I left the Jordan and I was led by the Spirit to go into the wilderness. Little did I know, this was going to lead me into 40 days of temptation by the devil himself. I didn't know I wasn't going to eat nothing for all of those days. (You would have no idea how hungry I was after. I thought I could eat a horse.) This is how it went:
I sat down on the ground for a while. I saw someone approaching me. I immediately knew that it was him. The devil. He loomed over me, smirking as if he was going to win me over, but I knew better. "Are you hungry, Son of God?"
"Yes. I very much am."
"Then if you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread."
I looked at the stone he was referring to. I shook my head. I know what he was doing. "For it is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone.'"
"Hm. Interesting," he hummed. "Follow me."
I stood up and followed him. He led me up to a high place that showed me an instant of all of the kingdoms of the world. Then he spoke to me, "I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will be yours."
I shook my head. I knew that the paradise will be far greater in heaven than it would be if I worshiped him. "For it is written: 'worship the Lord your God and serve him only.'"
He huffed frustratingly. "Fine. Then follow me again."
I listened and followed him. He led me to Jerusalem and had me stand on the highest point of the temple.
"If you are the Son of God," he sneered, "then throw yourself down from here. For it is written: 'He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'"
I shook my head at him again. "It is said: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"
The devil growled in protest. He continued to tempt me, giving me all these things to do, but I continued to fire back with the same power with the word. After all of his attempts that failed, he left me alone.