You Won't Get Away Twice (Alastor x Reader)

Chapter 49: Will you forgive me?

I'm still shocked. Even though my mind is slowly becoming clearer and more sober as we walk back to the hotel, I still feel like I can't think straight. I know I'm not the only one; both Angel and Husk were frozen at Alastor's stunt as well. Does that mean they still technically owe me a kiss? I delivered my end of the deal... technically.

"So... earlier..." I try to get the conversation started.

"They both already knew of our..." Alastor pauses. I'm curious what he's going to end this sentence with. "...relationship. It's not like I revealed any new information to them." He calmly explains.

"So, this is a relationship then, huh?" I ask in a playful tone. I don't miss how he looks down at me and rolls his eyes. I shrug. "I'm just surprised that you would actually call it that." I admit.

"Well, what would you refer to us as?" Alastor asks.

"Imperfect." I respond quickly. His response is still non-verbal, but I can tell he's frustrated by my answer. He sounds like a radio switching between stations and his eyes look strained. It's interesting how his eyes can always look so emotional considering the smile that's always on his face.

"I want to fix that." Alastor explains, getting my full attention.

"Oh?" I'm curious what exactly he means.

"I... I made a mistake, earlier." Alastor explains as he stops walking. I stop as well, waiting for him to continue. Alastor seems to assess how much farther we have to walk, looks at me, and then snaps his fingers.

I haven't traveled in shadows often. When it happens, I still feel a small amount of panic until I realize what's going on. I look around and realize we're in my hotel room. "Tired of walking?" I jokingly ask Alastor.

"Just wanted to walk long enough for you to sober up, darling." Alastor laughed. He takes a seat on my bed and pats the empty spot next to him, indicating he wants me to sit next to him. Without question, I walk over and sit next to him on the bed, waiting for him to continue his earlier statement.

"I made a horrible mistake earlier." Alastor explains again. He's not making eye contact with me. He looks like he's trying to figure out exactly what he wants to say. "I lied to you earlier." He continues.

This makes me concerned. He did give me Husk's contract, right? It wasn't a fake or something, right? He said he wouldn't kill me. Is he going to kill me?!

I think he can see the concern on my face as he finally looks over at me. "No. Please." Alastor puts one of his hands over mine, as if trying to get rid of my nerves. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. "I've told you how I adore you. How I appreciate you. How I want to see you succeed and grow. How I want to see you be happy." He explains. Where is this going?

"Uh huh. But you don't love me." I interrupt him. "You've made that very loud and clear." My eyes look away from him and at the ground. I feel his grip on my hand tighten.

"I lied!" Alastor says strongly.

I look back up at Alastor, surprised. He's looking directly into my eyes as he speaks. He's serious.

"I was afraid of the feelings that I was developing for you. I couldn't admit them to myself or anyone else. I was worried it was a weakness in myself. But the more time I spend with you, the more I realize that this feeling isn't a weakness. You make me stronger, better, and dare I say, happier." Alastor explains. He keeps his hand over mine and moves his other hand so it's lightly resting on my cheek. He leans his head down so that his forehead touches mine. I can't help but close my eyes so I can listen to him closely.

"(y/n), I love you." I hear Alastor say softly. Even though we're the only ones in my room, it's like he wants to speak soft enough for only me to hear.

As we spent more time together, I continued to ask myself how it was possible. How could he have so many feelings for me but ignore the one that I wished for most? I always wondered if he maybe just didn't know or didn't want to admit it. But to finally hear it, to finally hear him say it out loud. My heart feels like it could leap out of my chest. I truly do matter to him.

"I love you too, Alastor." I open my eyes back up to look into his. He looks genuinely happy, but also slightly surprised. This makes me chuckle a little. "I have for a while." I admit. "But I wanted to respect your boundaries. You said you didn't love me. I was prepared to love without being loved in return." I explain. This makes him pull his head away and hold my face gently with both hands.

"I don't ever want to hear you say that again." Alastor's voice is stern yet still kind. I look a little confused. "The love you choose to give others is precious. It should never be taken for granted. And I am so sorry for making you feel that way for this long. It won't happen anymore." I can't help but feel like the words he's saying are sincere. Something about the tone of his voice is much lighter than any other time we've talked. He's much more vulnerable than ever before.

"(y/n), will you forgive me?" Alastor asks. I know he's referring to everything prior. For lying to himself and me about his feelings. For making me feel like I was in an imperfect relationship for so long. Even though that was completely my decision and something I was willing to come to terms with, he still feels guilty. I don't want him to feel this way.

"Hm... maybe I can forgive you." I tease in a playful tone. But I'm not sure if he can tell I'm teasing. He looks a little confused. I pull my legs up so that I'm resting on my knees facing him. This makes him drop his hands from my face. My tail is swaying slightly back and forth at my own internal thoughts. "I'll forgive you, if you show me exactly how much you do love me." I explain, giving Alastor a look of want as I place my hands on his shoulders, sitting up slightly so I'm more at eye level with him.

I see Alastor's ears twitch and his facial expression changes once it finally clicks. He shows a few seconds of surprise followed quickly by adoration and desire. "I'd be happy to oblige." Alastor's voice dips lower and I notice how his eyes have a slight glow. He leans his face closer to mine before stealing my lips in a deep and passionate kiss. I feel his tongue run along the inside of my bottom lip, asking for entry. This is permission I happily grant as he deepens the kiss while slowly and gently pushing me back onto the bed. I think my ideal for forgiveness may have excited him a bit.