Forbidden Pages

Chapter 14: Under Pressure

Emma's days blurred into a routine that was both thrilling and exhausting. She balanced her studies, time with friends, and moments with Ryland, who had become an essential part of her life even though she could only see him in secret. She lived in anticipation of their next meeting, every stolen glance or hidden note like a lifeline keeping her afloat. But the secrecy was wearing on her in ways she hadn't expected.

Late one evening, after a long day of classes and study sessions, Emma received a message from Ryland.

"Library, same spot, tonight?"

Her heart leaped, her pulse quickening at the thought of seeing him. She texted back quickly, agreeing to meet. She slipped out of her dorm room quietly, the campus dark and empty as she made her way across to the library.

When she reached their usual corner, she found Ryland already there, leaning against a shelf with his hands in his pockets. He looked up as she approached, a smile flickering across his face.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice warm in the quiet space.

"Hey," she replied, stepping closer, her heart racing.

They exchanged a brief, soft kiss, and Emma felt the tension of the day melt away in his arms. He was her escape, her secret, the one thing that felt steady and certain in a world that often felt overwhelming.

"How was your day?" he asked, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She sighed, leaning into his touch. "Busy. A little stressful, to be honest. This project is draining me, and then there's finals coming up..." She trailed off, feeling the weight of it all settle over her.

Ryland nodded, his expression sympathetic. "I know it's a lot. But you're handling it well. You're one of the brightest students I've ever had, Emma. You'll get through this."

His words were comforting, but there was a part of her that couldn't shake the feeling that she was struggling. She wasn't just managing her classes; she was balancing the emotional strain of keeping their relationship hidden, of constantly watching her back, of feeling like she was living a double life.

"Sometimes... I wonder if it's worth it," she whispered, almost to herself.

Ryland's expression shifted, a flicker of concern crossing his face. "You mean... us?"

Emma looked down, her heart pounding. She hadn't meant to say it, but now that the words were out, she couldn't take them back. "No, I don't mean that. I just... I hate that we have to hide. It's exhausting."

Ryland reached for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I know. I hate it too. But if we're careful, if we're patient... maybe things will change. Maybe we'll find a way."

Emma looked up, her gaze meeting his, and she saw the determination in his eyes. She knew he was right, that they had to be cautious, but the thought of continuing like this for months—maybe even years—felt overwhelming.

"Ryland," she said softly, her voice barely steady. "I'm afraid of losing this. Losing you."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "You won't. I'm not going anywhere, Emma. We'll get through this. Together."

They stood there in silence, holding each other as the weight of their relationship settled over them. She wanted to believe him, to trust that they would find a way. But the uncertainty lingered, a quiet fear that gnawed at the edges of her heart.

The Following Week

Emma threw herself into her studies, trying to drown out the doubts that had begun to creep into her mind. She and Ryland continued to meet in secret, sharing brief moments whenever they could, but the thrill of their hidden connection was slowly giving way to frustration and exhaustion. She wanted more than this, more than the stolen glances and late-night whispers in quiet corners. She wanted a relationship that felt real, something she could hold onto without fear.

One evening, she was sitting in the library with Sarah, her roommate, who was flipping through her own notes, a pencil tucked behind her ear.

"You've been so busy lately," Sarah remarked, her tone casual but curious. "I feel like I barely see you."

Emma forced a smile, trying to keep her tone light. "Yeah, it's been... a lot. Finals and all."

Sarah gave her a searching look, raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure it's just school? You seem... I don't know. Different."

Emma's heart raced, and she looked down, pretending to focus on her notes. "What do you mean?"

Sarah shrugged, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I don't know. It's just a feeling. Like there's something you're not telling me."

Emma felt a pang of guilt, knowing that she'd been distant, that her friendship with Sarah had taken a back seat to her relationship with Ryland. She wanted to confide in her friend, to share the happiness and excitement she felt, but she knew that revealing her secret would only complicate things further.

"It's nothing," she said, forcing a laugh. "Just... stress. You know how it is."

Sarah nodded, but Emma could tell she wasn't entirely convinced. The conversation left her feeling even more isolated, the weight of her secret pressing down on her in ways she hadn't anticipated.

Later That Night

As Emma walked back to her dorm, her phone buzzed with a message from Ryland.

"Are you okay? Been thinking about you."

She felt a surge of warmth, grateful for his presence, even if it was from a distance. She texted him back, agreeing to meet him at their usual spot in the library.

When she arrived, he was waiting for her, his expression softened with concern. He reached out, pulling her into a gentle embrace.

"Rough day?" he asked, his voice full of understanding.

Emma nodded, resting her head against his chest. "I'm just... I'm feeling the weight of everything. The secrecy, the pressure. It's hard."

Ryland held her close, his hand running soothingly over her back. "I know. I feel it too. But we'll get through this. We have to."

She looked up at him, her eyes searching his. "Sometimes I just wish... that we didn't have to hide. That we could be together openly, without worrying about what people might think."

He sighed, his expression full of regret. "So do I, Emma. But this is what we have, for now. It may not be easy, but it's worth it. You're worth it."

They stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, finding solace in their shared frustration. Emma felt the tension ease slightly, the warmth of his presence soothing the ache in her heart. She knew that their relationship was complicated, that there were no easy answers. But as long as they were together, she was willing to keep fighting.

-

-

Jealousy, secrecy, and stolen glances—Emma's heart is all in. But will it be enough?