Fury

4

Hoseok's pov :

I am a creature of habit… in a weird, in every sense of the word.

Without my carefully crafted routine, I would fall apart and break into a million irreparable pieces.

Without this daily routine, I am nothing!

So every day, I wake up at 5, without exception, not even during the holidays and not after a night of drinking or partying or doing everything expected of a college student, 5, always, every day.

Then I get dressed, drink a smoothie, go for a run at 5:30 and get back at 7, shower, breakfast, slump in my studio for another hour or two, then college, then go to practice with the lacrosse team, more talking, smiling, laughing, caring, texting, liking, being present.

Day in and day out, you have to be present, be there, be in the midst of people with blurry faces, names,
and personalities.
All day long, I tell myself that I belong and that I am not actually fighting the constant nausea that fills my lungs with every breath, I am doing my best.

Pretend, swallow it all, smile.

Over and over ...  And by waking up at 5 the next day and resuming the cycle, that’s why I almost lost my mind after that abandoned opening that I shouldn’t have set foot in
This event was a huge departure from my usual habits, and it took me more than just waking up at 5 to get over it, but I finally did because I’m in control!
This whole ridiculous experience is in the past, or so I thought?
Another unexpected event just hit my steel wall, causing me to trip and throw my perfect cycle into a hole, my feet stopping as I looked back at the frame of a human I was trying to erase from my mind, and I did
I succeeded, even what had just happened,

My lungs are heaving in rapid succession and my chest is heaving against my shirt as if hoping to escape my damn skin, the rock music continues to play from my only earbud, the high tempo and pounding in my ears, but I can’t hear anything above the steady, constant pounding in my skull.

Like whenever my carefully constructed life hits an obstacle, Taehyung isn’t just an obstacle, he’s a fucking wall that I can’t push out of the way, he doesn’t notice the curses he brings with him just by being there, he just stands there grinning like an idiot!

Half naked, only a necklace with a bullet hanging on his chest,

His white pants hanging on his hips, one wrong step and it  falls down, a map of tattoos spread across his chest, shoulders, arms and eight of his abs, he is stupidly and unnecessarily muscular, his thick hair tied in a messy ponytail that highlights the sharpness of his jaw, his harsh features and his eyes…

I thought the blood-stained mask made him look monstrous last time, but no, he doesn’t need a mask when he can pull off that intense and completely unpleasant energy with his disgusting face alone, it’s like strokes, my god! The headphones between his fingers definitely need to be cleaned later,

“Is it just me, or are you looking at me like you really missed me?”  I barely manage to stop my upper lip from raising in a growl as I snatch the receiver from his hand “I don’t even know who you are, run away kid”

There I throw an insult at him, not that I was thinking of that response or something similarly hateful, I turn around and start running again determined to end the run and get back to the timeline we all know and love and by we I mean me and my unstable mind!

Once again, my plan descends into the deepest pit of hell, the damn donkey catches up to me, he runs at my pace and his shoulder almost touches mine “It’s me, Taehyung we met the other day at the opening… Oh, right! I was wearing a yellow mask, so you didn’t see my face but it’s me! Much hotter without the mask, don’t you think?”