I'm tired.....
I'm tired of being strong
Tired of the milestone sitting on my chest waiting on bated breath to suffocate me...
Tired exhausted jaded whatever words you use to describe the most intimate desire of my heart to stop breathing, bleeding
The frustration overwhelms me and I'm so caught up in creating the picture-perfect student as responsibilities come at me like a pecker and I'm a Willow...
Silently weeping hoping that the sound my silence produces will be loud enough for my internalized monologue of a scream to be heard.
Maybe it's all in my head?
May be the urge to become one with my bed has me so caught up that the sunrise kisses me goodnight.
That my mind dances like a mad hatter through the night that the imagery I see see me?
Who am I kidding hahaha
Life the grand puppeteer pulls the strings to remind me that I dance to the tune of what is required of me...
In this ocean of emotions that I'm going through one would think I'm a deep diver, which I am- without the ability to actually swim
It's funny, hilarious I might even guffaw and the notion of sanity of some penance of calm.
We don't cry here weapons of academic destruction? The site of my mind under current construction ne Mes quitte te pas
Let's hope the hope I had hope for hopes for me to hope again aging hope of others as the hope I survive.
Will I?
Does it even matter?
But how far will I follow Alice in the dark spiral of mind?
Coiling out of reason and feeling?
The ice-cold reality that courses through me as I course through these courses is a reminder that I'm not in fact as malleable as once construed but now but a remnant of what was.
Pushing a water basket up a hill I tell ya!
Que sera sera.
