FIREPOUND - god AU

.˚•_ CHAPTER 10

[A/N HAPPY HALLOWS-EVE GUYS! OR HALLOWEEN OR WHENEVER UR READING THIS!!!!]

[ALSO, TW! SH IS MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER. THE PART WHERE IT'S MENTIONED WILL BEGIN WITH A - AND END WITH A -, IF YOU'D RATHER NOT, JUST SKIP TO THE END FOR NOTES!]

FIREBALL POV

what does she mean that she knows what the fight was about.

is everyone in on this?

am I just an idiot?

"w-what do you mean yearbook." I mumble.

she can't bare to look me in my eyes. "it's about.. what he didn't tell you.. isn't it?" she mumbles.

I clench my fists, feeling everything fall away. 

"why didn't any of you tell me. the only one who had the guts to say it was fucking beer keg and the only reason he did was so he could make me suffer." I hiss, clenching my fists tighter.

yearbook lifts her gaze, eyes widening as she I look away.

"beer keg what..?" she mumbles.

I can feel hostility and anger coming back, I don't know what to do anymore. 

"beer keg told me everything. he was the only one with the guts to do it. he's right. Pound doesn't care about me, you don't care about me, none of you do,"

"why should I give a damn about any of you when you don't care about me. you all clearly want me to suffer. avoiding me because of anger issues? not telling me about anything? especially not my fucking past?"

"you don't tell me things I have the right to know!" I start to raise my voice. 

"I should be allowed to know my own past! the reason I am the way I am but instead everyone hides it from me and treats me like I'm some kid that needs protecting!"

"f-fireball I-"

"save it. I think pound needs comfort or whatever so all of you can go back to pretending like I don't exist." I hiss, walking toward my tower again.

they never cared did they?

maybe they were all just in on this dumb group thing called the "make fireball suffer as much as you can" project.

treating me like I don't exist. purposefully avoiding me. acting like I'm some freak because I'm angry.

a trait I don't even fucking control.

they hate me. they don't care. it's going to be easier for everyone if I disappear at this point. 

I throw myself into my pile of blankets and pillows, my hands are shaking and tears are welling in my eyes. 

"fuck, I- they all hate me.. don't they? I just messed up everything with two people in the span of an hour-"

"..I-i just threw away the love of my life..?"

I sob into my hands, in a fit of sheer blinded rage and sadness I stumble toward my bathroom. 

--

I grab and old sewing kit down from a draw in the bathroom. 

I grab a sewing needle and fall back onto my pillows, my sobs are loud and violent. 

my hands shake violently and my vision is blurry. all noise and outside area escapes me.

I lift the needle to my wrists, not thinking any further the needle cuts into my skin. 

I wince in pain as I keep sobbing. I make a few more cuts before throwing the needle to the corner of my room with an angry groan.

the blood drips down from my wrists.

I ignore the horrible burning sensations on my arms now,

--

I lift my knees to my chest, curling myself into a ball.

I throw myself against the pillows and blankets, shaking and sobbing.

maybe pound is better off without me anyway.

[ CHAPTER SUMMARY FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T WANT TO READ!! : Yearbook admits to fireball that she and everyone else knew about his past with pound, after fireball goes off at yearbook he runs away to his tower, he has a huge mental breakdown before falling asleep in his pile of pillows and blankets ^_^ ]