FIREPOUND - god AU

.˚•_ CHAPTER 11

[A/N: Sorry for not updating for a bit! A piece of my laptop exploded and it's still broken I'm currently writing this on a seven year old laptop that runs about four frames per second so there's my dedication to fire pound ALSO, TW!: SH MENTIONED, NOT CARRIED OUT BUT MENTIONED. SUMMARY AT THE END IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS TOPIC, IT WILL ALSO START WITH A - AND END WITH A - ]

POUND POV

"I love you.."

I break down to my knees, trying to bite back sobs. why didn't I have the courage to just tell him..?

now I've fucked up everything that I had with him. just like I fuck up every other relationship.

I sob violently the second he's out of sight. my chest tight and head starting to spin from how hard I was crying.

I couldn't stop, the tears kept flowing. I sat on my knees, leaning forward with my arms crossed tightly over my chest.

I feel a hand rest on my back, I can't bare to lift my head. I just keep sobbing, quietly accepting the comforting gesture.

the person sits down next to me. I turn my head slightly towards them, spotting the pretty, pink, floral frills of a flowing dress draped on the floor next to me I know that it's mirror.

she gently rubs circles into my back, I keep sobbing, shutting my eyes and hugging my chest tighter.

"pound.. calm down.." she says softly. she gently takes my hands, forcing me to unfurl slightly. "can you try to breathe with me?" she asks, her expression soft and filled with care.

I nod despite how badly I'm shaking and sobbing. I can't believe how pathetic I look. I can't bare to think about how weak and vulnerable I am right now.

it takes what feels like forever but I start to calm down before finally my breathing returns to normal and my sobbing stops.

I'm still shaking slightly but I've overall calmed down now.

mirror smiles at me softly before removing her hands from mine, she places them in her lap as I bring mine to hug my chest again.

"do you want to talk about why you were crying..?" she asked softly, slight hesitation in her voice.

after a moment of hesitation I nod. wiping one last tear from my now red, splotchy face.

"I-i had a fight with fireball.. h-he figured out about e-everything I've been keeping from him a-and now I've fucked everything up like I-i always do and-"

"pound-"

"he hates me and he doesn't want to be a-associated with me o-or be my friend-"

"pound."

"h-he thinks I'm selfish and that I h-hate him- he thinks I'm a m-manipulator and that I-i've only ever wanted to hurt him-"

"pound!" I'm finally broken from my ramblings.

mirror's gentle smile was replaced with a concerned and worrisome expression, "fireball doesn't think that he's just.." she can't think of a word to describe it.

"just what? he said those exact words to me! he said, 'maybe you are just selfish. maybe your only goal was to manipulate and break me. well, I'm glad to say it worked pound.' those were his exact words!" I say, tears threatening to fall again.

"pound, he definitely doesn't hate you. I can still track his feelings toward you and he still cares about you he's just.." we both gaze away from each other.

"hurt." we both say in unison.

we both lift our heads, smiling softly at each other. i let out a shaky sigh, lowering my head again. "I don't know how to fix this.." I mumble.

she looks away, "maybe there is not a 'fixing'. just.. give him time? take small steps.. occasionally talking to him and just doing what he says.. like if he asks you to not or to leave just.. I don't know.."

I chuckle softly, "good advice. I'll do it." I say softly, she returns a gentle smile.

"although, for cupid, I thought you'd have better relationship advice." I say, she softly laughs.

"oh hush I can barely manage a crush on yearbook."

we talk for a while before going our seperate ways.

I wasn't necessarily best friends with mirror but it was safe to say that she could make me feel better.

I sit on my bed. staring up at the ceiling. I replay every moment in my head.

"why would you lie to me!?" "what?-"

I roll over onto my left side.

"don't act like you don't know! we knew each other, i lost all my memories and not once in the thousands of years since then did you bother to tell me!? why continuously lie to me!? you could've just told me!"

I roll onto my right.

"because you wouldn't believe me!" "yes I would! it's not that farfetched pound!"

I shut my eyes as tight as possible.

"maybe you are just selfish. maybe your only goal was to manipulate and break me. well, I'm glad to say it worked pound."

I shoot up. sitting on my bed as tears well in my eyes. I hug my arms tightly around my chest. feeling so helpless.

--

my hands and body are shaking. I stare down at the ratty shorts I was wearing for pj's.

I was so tempted to relapse. to feel the blade against my skin again.

the temptation of it was heavy. I wanted to so bad.

I stop myself though, falling back down onto my bed.

--

I sob, shutting my eyes tightly and end up crying myself to sleep.

the embrace of quiet and darkness was honestly nice.

CHAPTER SUMMARY!

Pound's turn for a mental breakdown! Mirror comforts him and he feels a bit better. While he's trying to sleep he ends up replaying the fight in his head and instead cries himself to sleep :3