Speechless

Thirteen

Omniscient

Bia has contemplated telling Beyoncé the truth so many times over the years.

She should have done it when she first got Bey back but she was so focused on getting the 4 year old help.

Time kept moving and she kept talking herself out of telling her.

When she worked herself up to finally tell her, the shit with LeToya happened.

It just never felt like the right time.

Beyond that, she's scared.

What if Bey blames her for leaving and ultimately having to watch her father... grandfather... die?

Bey will definitely want to know who her biological father is.

And she deserves to know but...

That's a scab she doesn't want to pick.

She's never talked about it.

The only other person in the world who knows how and why she got pregnant is Denise.

She didn't even explain it to her dad when he was alive.

She just let him think her boyfriend at the time was Beyoncé's father.

And she let the boyfriend think she cheated on him.

She should have explained it to Richard.

He probably wouldn't have remarried Denise and she wouldn't have stabbed him in his heart in front of Beyoncé during a drug fueled rage.

The shame she felt and still feels about that situation gets overwhelming at times.

It feels like she killed her father by not speaking up.

Bianca

Beyoncé breezes into the room and plops down beside me on the couch.

"Can I borrow my birth certificate?" She asks.

My heart falls out of my ass.

"Why?" I question.

"My license expired on my birthday and I want to get a new one." She explains.

"You barely even drive, Bey. You think you need a license right now?" I ask, panicking internally.

"I mean, yeah... in case of emergencies and shit." She shrugs.

If she sees that birth certificate she'll know.

Fuck.

"Are you good?" Beyoncé asks. "You look like something heavy is on your mind."

She stares at me with her big hazel eyes.