The Best One Direction FanFic Ever

A/N: I'm TOTALLY serious right now...

One beautiful day Harry Styles and Taylor Swift were having a nice date out on the beach. In the distance Harry's other friends Nihal, Zayne, Loius and Liam were watching at a distance because what Harry was planning to do with Taylor was going to be AMAZING!

"Oh Harry, this is sooo amazing. I can't wait until you actually become legal so we can be stupid dirty hoes!" cried Taylor. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeah, about that Taylor. Uh, I have a song that me and the others made JUST for you." Harry said, sounding like a toolbox.

"Oh really? Can I hear it?" asked Taylor like the freaking dumb ass Bich she is.

Harry just smiled like a creepy person and motioned his dear, dear friends over to sing the song that would change his small love life forever.

I've tried looking at you,

But it's so hard to do.

I wanna whip out my mace,

So let's hide that butterface.

You know when you see a car crash,

And you can't help looking at that?

Well, your face is kinda the same,

Except a car-crash-comparison's pretty tame.

Someone's gotta tell ya now.

Your appearance makes me so sad,

And helping you is our vow,

So please wear this paper bag.

So get out, get out, get outta my face.

Your mug, your mug's all over the place.

You shouldn't go out looking like that,

So please wear this paper bag.

So please wear this paper bag.

Everything above your neck

Is like a horrible train wreck,

But now you look fantastic.

Just be happy we said "paper" not "plastic."

Now we just wanna play it straight,

And we're trying just to be honest,

And if you blot it out, you look great,

But your face is a Picasso. No, a Jackson Pollock.

So get out, get out, get outta my head.

Your face makes me wish I were dead.

You shouldn't go out looking like that,

So please wear this paper bag.

So please wear this paper bag.

And I know we sound heartless and cruel,

Like we're trying too hard to be macho and cool,

And I know you were born that way,

But facial-reconstructive surgery has come a long way.

So get out, get out, you've gotta go.

You've got a face for radio.

You shouldn't go out looking like that,

So please wear this paper bag.

So please wear this paper bag

Taylor stared at Harry shocked that he would say (let alone sing) something like that to her. She was taylor fucking Swift! She mattered to herself...herself...and...DEATH WATER!

Then Harry's friends started laughing. Taylor just wanted to murder them all.

"Oh Taylor Swift, you are so stupid. I never liked you, I never will like you and I hope that your music carrer goes down the old toilet like it should have when it started. No one gives flying shats about country music. Crappy pop music is all the rage now." Harry said laughing.

Taylor attepted to slap him, but some guy named Jacks Douglass walked by and turned her into an apple. She somehow also got a sex-change and became a rasist apple named Bobby. The good part was she landed a spot on Jack's YouTube segment called 'Bobby the Racsist Apple'.

Harry moved along in life to be a sucessful, annoying peice of crap and sing really shityy music with his equally annoying friends. Then, of course, he married an old grandma because now he goes for the oldEST women.

                                               THE FUCKING END