Broken Daydreams (BoyxBoy)

What's the point?

Wanting to distance myself from my friends was just one of the many terrible side effects of going on this downhill swirl of depression. I really wasn't expecting Ryder to react the way he did, and when the words escpaed his mouth it was like a bullet train speeding towards me. Needless to say, it was painful. 

I know that my friends would want to help me, and comfort me through all of this, but I doubt any of them know just how I feel, and therefor their advice and help would be useless. As terrible as it sounds, I don't really feel like I want any friends at the moment, I just wanna be alone. 

I've always been one to feel alone or lonely, even when hanging out with my friends. It's not like they're bad friends, in fact I don't even know why I feel this way, I just do. But, the only person that makes me feel different is Ryder. Whenever I'm around him I don't ever feel lonely. I feel happy and giddy and yeah yeah, I must sound like a thirteen year old girl again. But it's true. Maybe if I just had one chance with him I'd feel happier and get rid of this loneliness.

Well, laying in bed and moping about it wont do anything I guess.
I got up and went to pick up my guitar. I had orignially gotten this as a gift, but I took it apart, repainted it, and put new parts in it to make it sound better than before. And it worked pretty well. I was hapy with my new invention.

I Started running through my usual routine of practicing scales and everything else, but it just wasn't as fun as it used to be. I always loved playing guitar and it was always a way to distract me from anything that was keeping me down, but now, I'd try to just jam or create a new solo or anything and it would turn into me making a really sad song or riff. Needless to say I couldn't get him out of my mind. 

I heard my phone vibrate and lazily walked over to it, hoping it wouldn't be Ryder. Gladly, it wasn't, it was Hope,  a mutual friend of Autumn that I met all the way back in 6th grade. 

(Andrew Hope)

Hey, haven't talked in a while, what's up?

Oh, um, not much really, just practicing guitar.

Oh yeah, I always forget you play. I can't play any instruments I'm not really talented. 

It's not really about talent as much as it is effort. I wasn't naturally decent at guitar, I practiced a lot to get where I am.

That seems to be the answer to everything, effort.

?

It's nothing. Anyway, I've been wondering if you wanted to hang out or something. 

Oh, well you see, I'm not really in the mood to go out right now, sorry.

Look, I saw you two talking at the park that day. And no I wasn't stalking you, I just happened to be with Ed. I know you probably feel terrible and I wanna help distract you from all of this.

I can already see that I won't be able to change your mind.

Nope.

Alright, where do you wanna go?

I was thinking we could go to the new ice cream place that opened up near our school.

Sure.. Is anyone else going?

nope, just me and you.

Well this is gonna be "fun". I haven't talked to hope ever since she started dating Ed. I wonder how they're doing. It's about time he got a girlfriend too. He was always such a loner, but of course I don't mean that in a bad way.  I just mean he was always alone when we would hang out with friends and stuff. I hope he's happy now.