Embracing Tomorrow

Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

I can't sleep. Bukas na ang appointment ko kay Atticus, and I'm fucking nervous and a bit curious about last week when they were talking sa The Enchanted Cup. Ate Ara didn't say a word kahit ilang beses ko na syang tinanong. I'm pretty sure there's something going on with them. 

Kinabukasan, I woke up early dahil hindi naman ako nakatulog ng maayos. Mas nauna pa akong bumangon kesa sa alarm clock ko. 

Nakarating na ako sa clinic nya and hindi gaya kay Dr. Salvador's clinic, VIP ako, here I need to wait for my turn.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang itatawag ko sa kanya, Doc? or Atticus? I mean, we met a few times, but he's also my doctor. Fuck, I don't know!  

While sitting in the waiting area, my heart is racing as to what should I call him. Atticus is kind of personal. Doc is awkward. This is hard. Or maybe I should call him with his last name? Dr. Montemayor? SO AWKWARD! 

I was still contemplating as to what should I call him when his secretary called me and told me that it's my turn. My eyes opened wide and silently prayed. 

I entered his room and greeted him, "Hello po, Doc Montemayor." I want to fucking slap my face because of what I said. That was way too formal!

He chuckled, "So serious, huh?"

"Ano ba kasi ang itatawag ko sayo?!" Naiinis na sabi ko. My eyes opened wide again when I realized what I said. Nakakahiya ka talaga, Valentina! 

"Chill, Atticus nalang." He said laughing. "So, how are you? I mean can you tell me your story?" He said calmly. Huh? 

"Akala ko alam mo na tungkol saakin, I mean Doc Salvador said na naisend na nya ang infos ko sayo." Naguguluhan na tanong ko.

"Yes, but I want to hear it from you." He said. Huminga ako ng malalim bago magsimula.

Flashback

 "Halika na, ipapakilala kita sa mga engineering students. Para naman maging makulay mundo mo, nerdy archi." Natatawang sabi ni Sophie. 

"Ayaw ko nga, gaga." I annoyingly said at bumalik na sa binabasa ko. 

"Kj mo naman. May ka level ka naman dun hehehe. May topnotcher doon. Halika na!" Hindi na ako nakaangal dahil kinuha nya kaagad ang kamay ko. 

"Hi!" Sabi nya sa mga engineering student na nakatambay sa labas ng room namin. May ka tropa kasi sila na kaklase namin kaya dito sila kadalasan tumatambay. 

"Hello!" A flirty looking guy said. Napairap kaagad ako. Landi!

Sophie winked and, "May mairereto kaba sa friend ko hehe. Top student ito sa lahat ng Architect students dito sa school na to." Tinanggal ko ang nakaakbay na kamay ni Sophie at umirap nanaman. Malakas na tumawa ang lalaki pero napatigil kaagad ng sawayin ito ng kasama nya.

"Ingay mo!" He said before turning his head to me, "Topnotcher ka din?" He asked... sweetly?

I was mesmerized by his beauty and didn't reply and just nodded. May binubulong pa si Sophie saakin but I couldn't hear it. Our eye contact is so intense na sya lang ang nakikita ko. 

From that moment, I knew things were about to change—my life just got a little more complicated, and maybe, just a bit more exciting.

--

Months into our relationship, things were starting to get rough. Kahit na sinubukan ni Dominic na maunawaan ako, may mga sandali na hindi na siya makapagpigil. 

"Valentina, ano bang nangyayari sayo? Tinatanong lang kita pero nagagalit ka kaagad. Sabihin mo lang kung gusto mo nang tapusin ang relasyon na to." Padabog na sabi nya. My heart raced. Hindi ko alam kung paano sya sagutin kaya I just shook my head.

"N-no, Babe. Sorry, mag relax lang--"

"Relax?! Eh ikaw tong nagagalit kaagad eh. Tapos ngayon?! Relax?! Nahihibang kana ba?" After saying that, he stormed out of his condo. While I'm here trying to stop my tears. This is all my fault. Ano bang nangyayari saakin? Maybe he's right, nahihibang na ako. 

--

"But, Dominic, I'm different—"

"NO! Pare-parehas lang kayong lahat, mga baliw! Let's break up." That was my last straw.

I stood up angrily. "What the fuck, Dominic?! You're leaving me because of my illness? Dominic, I got these illnesses from my parents. You should be the one to be my support system!"

"No! Umalis ka na sa condo ko. Looking at your face, I remember the killers who killed my parents."

"Dom naman..." Mangingiyak na sabi ko. "I love you. P-please."

"I love you too, pero I can't stay with someone like you, Val. This will be a forever nightmare for me. Kaya please. If you love me, then fucking go." Madiin na sabi nya.

End of Flashback

I wiped my tears and looked away from him. Nakakahiya!

Atticus cleared his throat, "I'm sorry that you went through that." And handed me a box of tissue.

"Thank you." I said without looking at him. Nahihiya parin ako!

"You went through a lot, Val. But now, it's time to let go. Let go of Dominic if you really love him. Letting him go will set you free, believe me."  He said and gave me a reassuring smile. 

"Sinusubukan ko naman." Mangingiyak na sabi ko.

"You know, Val, letting go isn't something you can do right away. Let me teach you something I do in the past." He replied. Another breathing technique nanaman kaya ito? 

I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

He smiled, "It's called 'Letter You'll Never Send'. Write everything you want to say to Dominic, as in everything. After, don't read it, just burn it or throw it. The goal is let those feelings out without carrying them."

"The sounds s-scary. What if I'll cry while writing?" I nervously asked.

"Then cry, let those feeling out, Val. That's fine. Basta after, move on with your life." He then said and smiled.

I smiled, "Thank you, Atticus."

"Oh akala ko Doc. Montemayor?" Pang iinis nya saakin. I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Just trying to make you smile." My heart leaped a little. Ano yun? 

I stopped laughing and stared at him intently, "No, really. Thank you. You're the first one who made me this safe and comfortable."

"I'm always here for you, not only as your psychiatrist but also as your friend." Tinaasan ko kaagad sya ng kilay.

"Anong friend?" I chuckled remembering the time when i was in the park. "A-ah by the way, I saw you sa park the other day. You were performing." I said and smiled.

Humawak kaagad sya sa batok nya na parang nahihiya, "A-ah I'm part of a b-band kasi."

"You have a really nice voice, perfect for a psychiatrist and a vocalist." I said and chuckled.

We paused laughing, stared at each other, and laughed again. Completely forgetting about last week.

I hope I'm always like this, at peace.

--

Contains errors ;)
sweethannie_