EX with Benifits

06

Chapter Six- Badly want to move forward. No more him.

***

"Ate... Labas kana. Lumalamig na ang sabaw mo sa kusina." My brother's voice sounded behind my closed door, filled with care and concern. It was clear that he, too, was feeling down about my state. I desperately wanted to open it and embrace him, yet I refrained from doing so, as I didn't want him to see how distraught and unattractive I looked in my current state.

Ang pangit ko ngayon.

I just want to cry everything,all out. Lahat ng sakit, kahihiyan at disappointments. Lahat yan ay gusto kong ilabas. Pero hindi nmana ganon ka dali yun. It's hard to move forward even though you badly wanted it. You just can't but will...in the right time.

"Just leave me be at the moment,Benj... Please" My voice croaked due to my runny nose.

"O-Okay" Nahihirapang saad ni Benjamin sakin, but he still listened to me.

I sighed in relief and laid sideways, facing the window side. I run out of energy...As if I came from intense training. Ganito siguro talaga ka pagbroken  hearted.

Migo... I can't forget him. I will never have the chance to forget him. He was my everything. He was my first.

He held a special place in my heart, being my first boyfriend, the person I loved, the one I shared my first kiss with, and the one I shared my first intimate experience with. He was the first in every aspect of my romantic life. Kaya naman, ang hirap.

But i know, there's always a right time. The right time to lessen the pain, the love, and to move forward. Someday, lahat ng toh ay magiging alaala ko nalang na aking natutunan.

Kaya ko toh. I'm a Fallel after all.

***

A week had passed, and it had been a difficult period for me. Every day, I made a conscious effort to push him from my thoughts, to ignore his presence. I avoided him at school, determined to let go of chasing him. It was painful and challenging, given that we shared the same world, and it seemed as if fate kept bringing us together.

Perhaps destiny was testing my endurance, as there he was, standing by the campus exit, waiting for the rain to subside. He had no umbrella, and unfortunately, a fierce rain shower had begun. Nasa loob lang ako ng sasakyan ko, pinagmamasdan siya sa malayo.

Bibigyan ko ba siya hindi? Though i have a spare umbrella here... But the point is, I'm trying to move on. Kapag palagi nalang akong concern ng ganito, baka hindi ako maka ahon sa lunod na lunod kong pagmamahal.

Let him get wet from rain, Lair. Tapos na kayo...

Ay, mabuti nalang pala at hindi ko ibinigay ang payong ko. Tothe rescue naman pala ang girlfriend niya. Now, they both descended from the entrace, together with one umbrella.

Ang sweet, sarap ipa lamon sa lupa. Sana lumipad ang payong niyo dahil sa hangin. Sana mas lumakas ang ulan at bumaha. Sana...ako nalang ang kasama niya.

Mabilis kong kinurot ang kamay ko sa mga pinag iisip ko.

Gosh, Lair...you gotta move on! Quit that jealousy of yours. Tigilan mo na sila,let them be happy!

Despite being just one person, Migo left a profound impact on me. People used to admire my appearance and personality, and it made me feel cherished and contented. However, now that he had chosen someone else over me, I felt as if my world had lost its sparkle. It was as if I had become an outsider, unwelcome and unloved.

***

I entered the classroom, aware that today was the deadline for submitting our illustrations of the Gen Z-inspired outfit designs.