Troubled EXES

08

Chapter Eight- Ate

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They say that when a battle is won, you have achieved success and can finally claim victory. However, in my case, it was a different story.

I felt hollow.

There was no crown to rest upon my head, no certificate to commemorate my victory, nor a grand prize to claim as my reward. The only thing I received was a painful memory, one that forever etched the sorrow and trauma of yesterday into my mind.

Tapos na ang kaso. Naipanalo namin ito. My family ensured that the offenders would be made to suffer in the depths of hell.

Hindi ko na alam kong nasaan ako. I kept on searching for something... Chasing the usual tracks. Where am I now?

I found myself caught in a sort of limbo, where neither side seemed to support me. I was not only emotionally overwhelmed but also completely drained, almost to the point of feeling numb and disoriented.

"Naka kain ka na ba?" Isang tanong ang nagpatigil sakin.

"Mamaya na... Ano na ba ang oras?" I answered her still cutting the edge of silk.

Hindi ko man natanaw ang reaksyon ni Jolly sakin, alam na alam kong hindi siya natuwa sa sinabi ko.

"Bitiwan mo na nga yan! Kanina ka pa diyan sa dress! Diba dapat ay nagtutulungan kayo ng ka grupo mo? Bakit mo sino-solo?" Jolly scolded me.

I rolled my eyes and stopped whatever i'm currently doing. I believe that Jolly's just overeacting right now. Yes, i did forgot to eat my lunch since I didnt know it's past noon now. As I secretly glance at the wall clock, it's already 3 in the afternoon. Napapikit nalang ako sa kahibangan. How can i forget to eat? At bakit ba hindi ko namalayan na kanina pa pala ako nag ta-trabaho nito?

Napa buntong ako ng hininga, "I'm okay,Jolly. Ikaw? Do you want to grab some snack?" I coolly said and stretched my arms.

Oh, come and look at that... ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng gutom. Maybe i was too occupied.

"Shunga ka ha?! Anong snack? You know what... Hali ka't kakain tayo ng lunch! Hindi ka pwede magpalipas ng gutom, Jai! " She lectured me. Umalis nga ako ng bahay para hindi palaging mapagalitan ni mommy, pero itong best friend ko naging nanay ko na rin.

And i did what she ordered, pumunta kami sa cafeteria upang kumain. Ang dami niyang inoder para sakin. Gusto kong mag reklamo but I saw how eager she was na pabusugin ako.

"Napapansin ko lang ha... Masyado mong pinapagod ang sarili mo nitong nakaraang araw. Kina- career mo na ang pagiging pag asa ng bayan." Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga at mariin akong tinignan. Napakurap kurap tuloy ako at natigil sa pagsubo ng pagkain.

"What's the deal, Lair? Ayos ka lang ba?"

I looked away, feeling something I couldnt name inside of me. Honesty is in my vocabulary but at this point of my life, i want to hide everything for everyone. Including her, my best friend.

I am not okay since i'm still stuck in something I couldnt utter. But i believe, this will go away like a rainy days. Hindi naman habang panahon ay uulan.

"Of course, I'm busy. I need to catch up since  isang buwan akong nawala, marami akong dapat pag alaran, projects na aasikasuhin, at mga special quizzes na eti-take dahil valid ang rason ko. As in... napaka busy ko, Jolly." Paliwanag ko sa kanya.

Tinignan niya ako puno ng pagdududa, hindi pa rin kumbinsido. "Eh, bakit tinanggap mo ang alok ng isang modeling company? Busy ka nga,diba?"

Napatikum ako ng bibig. Alam niya yon? Pano? Hay... Wala talaga akong kawala pagdating sa bestfriend ko.