Ball is Love

emotional cheating.

To look up and see a car derail into a well, railing, was not the thing I expected to see when we broke apart from that kiss. Every fiber in my body knew that his rental car was hit and who was going to explain that to Lavar Ball while he was on Vacation?

But I will take it as a sign from God that we have to get that car out the middle of the street and get the hell back to that house. And somehow pretend...this never happened. 

I look up at my giant- LaMelo, and he clearly has one expression on his face. Run your ass to that car and we are going to speed off into the night. 

With very little hesitation, we were off to the rental car. My chest is beating incredibly hard, and the thick Hawaiian air is making it no easier. 

"Wait, what about insurance-" We hear in the distance as Melo and I throw ourselves into the front seats and he takes off whipping the car in the opposite direction. Nothing but our heavy breathing fills the car as he drives off into the night. 

"You okay?" He says clearing his throat. 

I look up at him, and we briefly lock eyes. 

I bite my lip trying to contain my laugh. His boyish grin spreads across his face as he briefly looks at me and back at the road in front of him. Then, almost instantly, a light chuckle turns into full blown cackling. 

"...No Melo you don't understand I thought we were fucked!" I shout out mid laugh. 

"Nigga, you?! How the hell was I supposed to explain a wrecked rental to Big Baller?! He was gon' kill me bro!" He says laughing with tears in his eyes. 

After a deep sigh comfortable silence takes over the car. That is, until he breaks it again.

"I miss this..." He says without thinking. Or at least to my knowledge. 

Me, on the other hand I don't know what to say.

"I miss you." He says finishing his thoughts. 

"Mhm" I manage to get out. 

I promised myself after a year I would not go back to being the confused boy I once was. But every time I get around him, I'm not sure how to feel. I never know what to say. 

He makes a turn off of the highway towards the gates of the many mansions we are staying amongst.

"So...Duzey...we not gon' talk about it?"

"No." I reply looking out the window.  

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"I mean no LaMelo. I shouldn't have kissed you. We shouldn't have-"

"But you wanted to."

"No, no I didn't! You kissed me and I-"

"But you didn't pull away." He continues in the most calm and understanding voice.

"Because it was so much going on and I didn't know what to-"

"Duzey."

"Melo, please stop. Please. I don't want to fight again. We almost died, and we finally had a good moment please don't do this to me right now."

He begins to speak but groans and leans back in his seat. 

He mumbles under breath what I can only make out as "Still stubborn."

Silence and the air conditioning fills the car until we finally pull into the long driveway of the house. The inside of the house looks dark signaling everyone must be asleep.

Now the awkward part. Do we just quietly part ways? Do we say nothing? He is literally in the bedroom next to mine.

Every scenario of how this trip could go now plays into my head and I just want to go back to sleep.