I've told these beautiful boys that you have delivered to me that I aim to please... and they have taken full advantage. Not that I have lied to them, because I do, in fact, aim to please, but for all the wrong reasons. I aim to please no matter what because I cannot stand the thought of being left again. The last time, as you know, I gave it my everything but he could still bring himself to leave me. Alone. Defenseless against the world's cruelties. This, as I am sure you also know, has turned me cold, rough around the edges where my weak heart used to cause me to be soft, forgiving. I do not forgive anymore. I forget.
It was much harder at first, but when they convince you that they have nothing to be forgiven for, that they are innocent and you are crazy, you start to think. You start to seek comfort where you could never have imagined yourself before. You change. You lose your mind and you can only think that it's much less painful than having to remember someone you loved, someone who could never love you. I'm so tired of having to forget. I want someone to remember. I want someone who will remember me.
p.s. why must they say they love me before they leave?
YOU ARE READING
letters to god
Krótkie OpowiadaniaI would like to label these as midnight ramblings and pleas from a girl who is too heartbroken to realize that she was never supposed to have a heart, but it feels like so much more. Also, God doesn't listen to the likes of me much anymore, so I`m s...
