INDIGO

NOVEMBER

Dead air. 

Dead silent.

 Deafening silence all around me. 

That's how I describe the month of November. Bushes that were rummaging and falling through empty stalls and hallways that were eerily stale at stake.

 A room where I felt empty, small, and could even swallow myself whole like a huge wave came crashing down before me, right before I could even save myself from drowning and sinking through the abyss. 

 As I was about to go and grab a book for myself to read, a pair of strong hands stopped me from doing so. I furrowed my eyebrows after that skin to skin contact. "What the hell are you doing?" You immediately shift and avoid my eyes after exchanging glances with mine. 

 Simmering the trenches from the corner of your eye tells me to make contact and stare deeply as if I'm swimming through the deepest part of the ocean as I let myself fall and drown into the abyss of nowhere. 

 Heaven knows that I've tried to save myself before you could even. 

 Heaven knows that I've tried to save myself from the fiery pits of hell before you could even.

 Heaven knows that I've tried to save myself from the demons that were disguised as humans before you could even. 

 Heaven knows that I've tried to save myself from drowning through the bloodbath of their well-fed lies before you could even. 

 Heaven knows that I've passed through the gates of hell and not welcoming them back to my shitty life before you could even get the chance to do so. 

 Only heaven knows that I've suffered through hell and back for so damn long. And I'm so fucking proud of myself from removing the things that can damage and hurt me at very end. 

 Including people.

 Including you.

 I'm so glad that I made myself free and release from the pain I've been through over the past ten hella months of my life this year. And I'll never ever look back at it again. Maybe, excluding you in my life would be so much better.