Him:
The room is spinning and I can't talk. Things are going way too fast and oxygen is not reaching my fucking brain. I feel like I'm gonna pass out, or throw up, or both.
I blink a few times as I come back to myself, my eyes refocusing on Maya. My chest is rising and falling rapidly and I feel my heart racing, the memory is still fresh in my mind.
"I'm... I'm okay," I mutter, but my voice sounds anything but okay.
"What the fuck just happened?"
I rub my hand over my face, still shaken by the intensity of the flashback. It's been a while since one has hit me that hard.
"It's... it's fine, I just zoned out for a bit." I say, avoiding her gaze.
I can feel her eyes on me, her scrutiny is making me uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about it, not now. I force myself to take a deep breath and look back at her.
"Nico, that's not fine, what happened?"
"It's fine," I repeat, my voice a little stronger this time. "Just... just a memory, is all. No big deal."
"Memories don't fucking do that." She replies.
"Don't tell me what my memories do or don't do," I growl. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She barks back.
I shake my head in frustration, my hands clenching into fists. "Nothing's wrong with me," I snap back, feeling my annoyance start to bubble up. "I just... can you drop it? Please?"
"For fuck's sake, Nico. You just zoned out for like 5 minutes and then you started fucking crying. I'm not dropping this until you actually explain."
My eyes narrow at her words, my anger mixing with a hint of embarrassment. I hadn't even realized how long I had been zoned out for.
"It was just a flashback, alright? It's not a big deal." I reply, hoping that she will be satisfied.
"It is a fucking big deal, Nico. What was the flashback about?"
"It's none of your goddamn business," I mutter.
"Why the fuck are you getting so defensive about this?"
"Because you're making me talk about something that I don't wanna fucking talk about!"
I see her flinch when I raise my voice and I feel a wave of guilt washing over me. I'm letting my emotions control me and I hate it, but her insistence is driving me crazy.
"I care, Nico. Talk to me."
"You care? Bullshit," I mutter as I shake my head and a bitter chuckle leaves my lips. "So now you care, huh? You've never fucking cared about me, Maya. Fuck, a creepy ex had to threaten you for you to talk to me."
"That's not true."
"Do you want to know the fucking truth? For years I've been waiting, hoping you'd see me as more than just a charity case, but you never did. You have no idea just how hard it was for me to keep my feelings hidden."
"What... what are you talking about?"
"You really have no idea, do you?" I say sarcastically. "I was practically throwing myself at you for years, constantly hoping you'd notice me... but to you, I was just 'the poor kid with the fucked up family'. You never saw me as anything more than that."
"Nico... that's not true." She says in a low whisper. "I care about you."
"Yeah, you care about me. But not in that way. You care because you feel pity for me, because you think I need someone to watch over me. You still don't see me as anything more than a scared kid."
