Forcibly Yours

||PANIC ATTACK||

LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING . HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 

Ruhanika steps through the door with Kian beside her, the weight in her chest building by the second. She sees her in-laws in the living room, their faces warm and welcoming. She forces a smile, but her pulse is pounding, breath shallow.

 The room feels too loud, every sound hitting her like a wave, pushing her closer to the edge.

"Long day," she murmurs to Kian as he studies her, concern flickering in his eyes. She gives a small nod and moves toward the stairs, gripping her bag so hard her fingers ache. Each step feels endless, her chest tightening as she tries to keep herself steady.

 The worst feeling in the world is trying to hold back a panic attack in public.

Finally, she slips into her room and shuts the door. She leans against it, breathing hard, as if she's been holding back a flood. Her throat feels tight, and she fights the urge to scream or cry—anything to release the panic clawing its way up.

I sit on the edge of my bed, barely holding myself together. Every part of me feels like it's breaking apart. My hands tremble as I grip the nightstand, desperate for something solid, but even that feels slippery, wrong, like it's slipping away from me. My throat tightens, clamping down hard, and I can't get a full breath—the air feels thin, sharp, like it's cutting me from the inside.

The soft light of my lamp feels too harsh, like it's exposing everything I'm trying to hide. I try to steady my breathing, counting each shallow inhale, but my chest only grows tighter. Memories claw their way up, dragging me back— the sounds, the fear. It's too real, too close, like I'm again reliving that nightmare. I don't want it please , please stop this please.

Rooh please please don't please don't, you.....you can ..can handle it . ok now breathe . please please don't .

I am begging myself like always . But it didn't help at all.

My fingers slip, knocking over a glass. It crashes to the floor, shattering into jagged pieces, mirroring how I feel inside. The noise jolts me, but instead of snapping me out of it, it pushes me deeper. My throat is a raw ache, and my breaths come faster, but they're useless, like I'm suffocating from the inside.

I don't want to feel this it hurts i don't want to remember that all over again . Please!

I curl up, knees to my chest, gripping myself tightly as though I can hold the panic in, but it's flooding me. Tears blur my vision, but I can't wipe them away.

 My hands fumble for my phone, my last hope, and with a shaking finger, I press call on the only name I can think of—my brother. I hold the phone close as it rings, clutching it like it's the only thing keeping me from drowning in this darkness.

The phone rings, and with every passing second, I feel myself slipping further, desperate for him to pick up. Finally, his voice comes through, warm and steady.

"Ruhanika? You okay?" His tone is calm."I... I can't breathe," I manage, my voice barely a whisper. "It's happening again... I don't... I don't know what to do.""Hey, hey... I'm here," he says, his voice softer now. "Focus on my voice, okay? Just take it slow, one breath at a time."I close my eyes, clinging to his words. But my throat is still tight, and the air won't come. "I'm trying... but it's too much. I keep... I keep seeing her.""Listen to me, Ruhanika. Just listen," he says, his voice a steady anchor. "You're safe now. That was the past. I'm right here with you, alright?"

I try to answer, but my hands start shaking again, and the phone slips from my fingers, hitting the floor with a soft thud. His voice fades, and I'm left alone with the darkness closing in, his words echoing in the silence.