Broken But Beautiful

chapter -11

Naina's pov-
Present day-

I often felt lonely after aarav left even when i was surrounded by my friends, like a part of me was missing. I craved his presence because he was the only addiction i had in my lonely life and the pain i felt from its withdrawl was so intense i wanted to die but nothing compares to the pain i am feeling right now. Its flowing in my veins wanting to burst them and if anyone can relieve me from this pain then its him.

I want to run in the safety of his arms and hide there forever but i am scared to trust him again. What if its all is just a lie again then i wouldnt be able to survive his betrayal again. I have to be strong for me, i have to-

Knock
"Naina! Angel open the door"

What? Why is he here? He shouldnt be here, i cant face him right now. He has to leave. I should turn off the lights so he would leave thinking i am sleeping. I wiped my tears and got up from floor to switch off the bedside lamp.

"Naina please i know you are not sleeping, please jaan open the door. I just want to see if you are alright"

Why does he have to say the things that i am sure he dont mean. Tears again welled up in my eyes but i still didnt say anything because i dont want to talk to him when i am at some of my ugliest and lowest moments of my life. I have took care of myself for so long and i can do this right now also.

Knock knock knock
"Naina! Love please let me in, if you are thinking i would leave from here after some time then you are wrong i wont go from here until you open this damn door and i make sure if you are fine or not" he shouted again.

Why he is so stubborn.. he will wake everyone up if he keeps shouting like this. I have to stop him.

" stop shouting! This isnt your home. And no! I wont open, i am fine. You go from here in your room, i want to sleep" i told him and sat on the bed.

"No i wont leave, just let me see you for my solace because i wont to be able to sleep until i see you myself. Just once, please angel let me see you!!"

"And i am telling you to leave so, why aren't you leaving! JUST LEAVE GOD DAMMIT JUST LEAVE FROM HERE! GO AWAY! I-I D-DONT NEED YOU "
I shouted frustatingly and started crying again.

" why? Why dont you understand that if i allowed you in again then i would again become used to your presence, to the comfort of your arms like a addiction of the drug which is not good for me because then you will leave me again and i would fall in a phase from where i wouldnt be able to return this time. So p-please go a-aarav, go f-from here."

There was silence for some time on the other side of the door so i thought he left. I ran towards the door, dont know why and sat on the floor againt the door.
I was crying hysterically when i heard a moment outside the door and soon a voice reached in my ears....his voice.

"You know when i was going away from you it felt like thousands of needles were peircing every vein of my body, like my heart was having his last beats and it would eventually stop. I wanted to come back even i didnt want to leave but i had no choice, i had to do that for my mom.
I know whatever i say anymore wouldnt matter as you dont trust me which is understandable but believe me when i say this, i had lived like a living corpse without you for years with a void inside my being. but i cant anymore.
You say you dont need me but its me who needs you. my heart, every atom of my being craves you. They were lying dormant for the past ten years but they came alive with just one glimpse of yours. I dont want to live without you anymore. Please angel let me in, just let me in on every lowest moment of your life. You are not alone, i am here and i wouldnt leave you again. Please i need you jaan just once open the door, please open-"