She was strong,
Finally the world was
Seeing her for who she
Was as her knees hit the floor.
The tears rolled
Down her face and
There was no way to stop
It. There was no end
On my knees falling forward
In what seemed like slow
Motion, I find myself in the
Fetal position. Alone.
My mother had always
Talked about the "downward
Spiral" and the "Rock bottom"
Crap. I thought she was lying.
Until I was there.
Until it wasn't a spiral,
But a six foot drop in
the dirt to hell.
No one heard me...
My cries at 2:00am
For help. The never
Ending need of redemption.
I was broken, bleeding
But it was no longer,
Internal bleeding. It was
Beading on the surface of
My skin on my forearm,
My biceps, legs and wrists.
The only thing to
Ease the pain inside.
The xanax on my lips
To quiet the voices,
Washed down with a
Fifth if vodka to make
Me sane. The world of
Needing me to be saved,
The world of darkness,
Pain and tears. My world.
