Between my childhood
And now in this moment
I realize, I knew no pain like
The pain I knew those
Days. The days of my
Father with his heart on
His sleeve and the bruise
Necklace gifted to him as
I manually closed his
Eyes before screaming
In horror so loud the
Neighbors called the cops
The pain that made me cold.
My hands shaking as my
Tears race down my cheeks
Thinking of how it must have
Felt to fight for that last gasp
Of air. The second time? When
I had right make the choice to
Let her dir. The night that part
Of myself died.
Even those who abused
Me, No black eye or belt welt
Could compare. Nothing equalled
The pain of those loses.
Not even those who laid on
Top of me getting off on my
Pleas and fights for freedom
It never touched it.
I think of my father and
Those men and remember
What my father said about
The man who molested me
At two years old "I'll kill em."
His flesh and blood are you
Kidding? I'll fucking kill em"
He said eyes filling with tears
Seeing him so angry and forcing
Myself to hold down good as he
Had been seeing him want so
