Remorse and Regrets

Chapter 58

Dhru's eyes roved across the crashing waves.  Earlier, these white waves used to give him solace but now the fierce white waves was only increasing the agitation in his heart.

He was waiting for Sadhavi. The D- day has come. Today, it will either break them or make them.

Dhru was so lost in his turmoil until a jingle cut across his thoughts.

He stiffened as he felt her presence.  Dhru so wanted to turn and hug her to his heart's content but as usual couldn't gather the courage especially when he had lost all rights.

" I am here just as you asked, Dhru"

He gulped down the nervousness as he heard her. With heart beating a mile per second, he turned to her.

As his eyes gazed with hers, he couldn't stop the journey of his mind through their past.

It was not that different for Sadhavi too.

The eyes that she fell in love with, the eyes that reflected anger for so long was now staring at her with guilt and regrets.

In that instant, her heart murmered for her to go to him but the sane part kept her legs locked.

The contrast between the Sadhavi who would have moved earth to comfort him and the one hesitating in front of him was not lost to him.

A sardonic smile crept upon his lips.

He was finally getting his karma back.

Sadhavi cleared her throat bringing Dhru to the present.

With a confidence that was no where in him, Dhru started,

" Thank you for coming, Sadhavi. I don't deserve your kindness so thanks....again...."

Her silence was disheartening for Dhru but he also knew this time he can't run away . He had to forge ahead.

"I know a mere sorry won't wipe away my crimes  neither would it heal your wounds nor lessen your anguish but still I AM SORRY....I may had many reasons for my actions at that time but none justify the cru..elty I bestowed upon you. It would be a lie if I said I didn't want to hurt you.... I did.... but believe me , Sadhavi.....it was never because of Nandhini or Ansh....I was angry ....and if you can trust then I was more hurt by my words than you.....There were times that I just want to come to you....and I did too....But instead of the peace , I only disrupted it more. I was not even understanding my actions....Then Akash hit me with my reality but as a coward I am , I began running away from it. Fully knowing that there is no escape from this truth. Finally, as it began sinking in, my foremost thought was you. In my naivety,  I thought I was protecting you when I pushed you away....But Sadhavi, you surprised me.... I expected you to push back instead you accepted everything with a smile..... I knew what I was doing was wrong but..... It was like having an angel and devil on my shoulder .....One always admonishing me for my actions while other encouraging me.....Each time when my darkness won, it was because it comforted me with a mirage of your happiness...I feel worse than a coward when I think about how I  turned blind eye to the articles and hide behind Tara.....I am not explaining all this for your forgiveness because I don't want any. I deserve punishment and only you have the right to dealth with it...."

Sadhavi just stood listening to everything with an impassive face. She was aware of most of what he was saying but hearing the stubbornness in his last statement left her dumbfounded. She was still reeling from the shock when she heard him again.

"I am ready to accept any punishment except parting from you. You may call me selfish... hell, no.... I am selfish....I dont want to lose you...I will do anything to atone for my sins.... Will crawl through hot coals to heal your broken heart...Will wait for ever till you trust that your old Dhru is back....But please....please....give me one chance....a chance is only what I am asking.....please...."