Shut Your Eyes, Shut Your Mouth

6. Fearful Heart.

"It's not true..." I replied, almost defensively. "I don't even know this Matthew..."

"I have to go; I'm already in class! Call me tonight. Urgently!"

After a few beeps, it was clear that Kristina had hung up.

"Sophie, let's go to the checkout! Why are you always glued to your phone like a crazy person—no help for your aunt at all!"

****

After lunch, I tried to focus on studying. I opened my laptop and began writing my assignment, but nothing was working. My thoughts kept drifting back to Matthew and everything that had happened in just a few days—thanks to him. I couldn't make sense of Kristina's strange words: a mysterious, beautiful girl, Matthew's acquaintance, was looking for me? Absurd.

As I stood up from the table, I felt a surge of resentment boiling inside me. Someone was parading around my college today, spreading disgusting rumors about me. I'm sleeping with Matthew? I've never even had a boyfriend! Tears welled up in my eyes, and unable to hold back, I grabbed my phone to send Matthew a message:

"LEAVE ME ALONE! Disappear from my life!"

It was all his fault. Yes, that was right. I tossed my phone onto the bed, grabbed my sweater from the chair, and left the room, then the apartment. I needed to take a walk, breathe in some fresh air, and calm down a bit. I was actually eager to buy a ticket home and, once there, tell my parents everything. What difference did it make if Matthew and his henchmen made my life unbearable anyway?

I kept walking straight ahead, driven by the cold wind, tears streaming down my face. Suddenly, it struck me that all of this meant nothing. I wasn't needed by Matthew. Not for anything bad, nor for anything good. Of course, he had a girlfriend. How could it be otherwise? After all, to be honest... He was an adult, handsome, and... I stopped myself mid-thought, frightened. Did I just fall for him? It terrified me because until that moment, I hadn't even suspected what that feeling was.

Maybe I wasn't afraid of him at all; maybe that's how it should be? Is this how love truly feels?

Now I felt even worse. I was thinking like a fool. After circling my aunt's house a few more times, I finally returned inside. It was time to have dinner and go to bed early. I intentionally decided to stop checking my phone, especially since I had already spoken to Mom and Dad that morning. I just didn't have the energy for Kristina anymore too. And, for some reason, I felt ashamed in front of her. She hardly knew me and must have thought I was skipping classes due to a relationship with an older guy who even had a girlfriend. I wanted to forget Matthew. Forget that he existed.

Before going to sleep, I glanced at my phone screen just once: 45 missed calls. From him.

***

Aunt Alice woke me up early. First, I had to make breakfast for both her and myself (mostly for her since I didn't like porridge with dried fruits), and then for the cat. As usual, he pounced on my arm, scratching it painfully once more while I tried to change his water bowl.

Thank goodness I usually wore fairly covered clothing because now it would be impossible to look at me without tears. Both my arms, from the elbows down, were decorated with red scratches of various shades and sizes. I looked like a victim of domestic violence in my aunt's house, where the master was the cat.

"Did you bring a dress with you?" Aunt Alice asked casually.

I had almost forgotten that we were supposed to attend the wedding of the century.

"No," I replied, hoping this might save me.

Reluctantly, my aunt pulled out a bill from her pocket and placed it on the table.