I Can Fix Him (no really I can) || Rafe Cameron

05. Frayed Edges

The Pogues have already packed up, tossing the old maps back into the boat, but my attention is stuck on Rafe, his figure half-hidden in the shadows at the edge of the shore. I can feel the tension rolling off him, and I know it won't be enough to pretend we didn't see each other, not now.

"Go on, I'll catch up," I say quietly to the others, trying to keep my voice steady. They look at me, hesitation flickering in their eyes, but finally, John B nods, leading them towards the boat. I wait until they're far enough away before i turn, crossing the beach toward Rafe.

He's watching me, arms crossed over his chest, jaw set tight. There's a flash of something in his eyes that i can't quite read- hurt, anger, maybe even regret- but he holds it back, his face guarded.

"So, this is where you've been hiding," he says, tone edged with bitterness.

"Hardly hiding," I reply, trying to keep my voice even. "I'm just...living my life, Rafe. Isn't that what you wanted?"

He flinches, just barely, and i can see the way his shoulders tense. "You mean with Pope, right?" Living your life with him?"

A surge of frustration rises in me, and i bite back a retort, taking a breath instead. "Are we really doing this again? You know nothing happened with Pope. He was just checking on me."

"So you've said, I just don't believe that." He shakes his head, the bitterness in his voice hardening. "I saw the way he looked at you, Pen. I'm not an idiot."

"That's not fair," I snap back, my voice rising. "I wouldn't lie to you, Rafe, no matter what you think. Pope is just my friend. But i guess trust is hard for you, huh?"

He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Trust? Funny you bring that up now. You think it's easy for me to trust anyone after what I've seen? After everything?"

I open my mouth to argue, but the words catch in my throat. Because I know there's truth in what he's saying- truth that doesn't make it any easier. But still, I can't let it excuse everything he's put me through.

"We can't keep doing this," I say finally, the hurt seeping into my voice despite my best efforts to sound strong. "I can't keep pretending we're okay when you don't believe me."

For a moment, he looks away, his gaze fixed somewhere over my shoulder, as if he can't bring himself to look me in the eyes. "So that's it? You're just...done?"

The question hangs heavy between us, and I feel a pang in my chest, a reminder of everything we used to be. But I know better than to let it sway me now. "You walked away, Rafe. I'm just...following your lead."

He clenches his jaw, hi hands balling into fists at his sides. "Yeah, well, don't let me hold you back. Go live your life with our perfect little friends. Don't worry about me."

It stings, and I know that's exactly what he intended, but I won't let him see how much it hurts. "Maybe I will," I say, forcing myself to look him in the eye. "At least they trust me."

He scoffs, looking away, a hint of bitterness etched into his expression. "You say that now, but let's see how long it takes for them to walk away too."

The words cut deep, sharper than i expected, and I feel myself falter, just for a moment. But I can't let him see that he still has that power over me.

"Goodbye, Rafe," I say, turning on my heel and heading back toward the boat, forcing myself not to look back. The weight of his gaze follows me, heavy and full of words left unspoken, but i keep walking, each step pulling me further from the person i thought i know- and the life i thought i could have had.