Silent Love

Part 61

Missing Robert, trying to be relaxed and having a baby scan on my own.. isn't the best way to stay calm.. in fact.. I don't recommend it at all.. the night before.. I don't sleep very good.. which I know won't help.. I'm so nervous about finding out..

The only thing that helps me is that Robert does call me before the scan.. to talk me through it.. he does help when he's on the phone.. a little..

"It'll be fine baby.. I promise.. just don't worry yourself about it.. the hospital is there to look after you both.. alright?"

"Yeah.. I know.. I just.. knowing you're not here.. and if something's gone wrong.. I'm really scared Robert.."

"I know.. and it's natural.. you want the baby to be ok.. so do I.. and I truly believe that'll be ok.."

"I hope you're right.."

"I normally am.." I know he's smirking.. "Listen.. you call me when you're home.. I might be with the estate agent but I will answer I promise.."

"You better.. and I'll call you as soon as I've been seen.."

"Good girl.." he sighs.. "Well I've gotta go.. viewing is in an hour.. I'll make sure I take lots of photos for you.. and yes.. I know where you want to put the Christmas tree.."

"It's the most important part of buying a new house.. and you need to take photos of the baby's room.. and where we can put stuff.."

"Of course I will! I've got my phone ready.."

"Good.. I love you.."

"I love you too.. don't forget to call me!"

"I won't.." I smile.. before we end the call.. and now it becomes a little more real.. the feeling of anxiety coming back as I head to the hospital..

As I'm sat in the waiting room.. I play with the zip of my bag.. I'm so on edge.. I know it's probably not doing the baby any good..

"I'm sorry sweetheart.. but you're making mommy anxious.. please be ok.." I whisper softly so no one can really hear.. "Your daddy is so excited to meet you.. you've gotta be strong for him ok?"

"Sophia?" I hear my name called.. and it's the same nurse as last time.. "If you just wanna follow me.. we can take a look at you.."

I nod, before following her into the room.. I take a big deep breath.. as I lay down on the bed.. the nurse smiles at me as she rubs the jelly on my stomach..

"How's it been?"

"Good.. my boyfriend's had me on strict rest.. for a few days.. I'm hoping that everything will be ok.. with the baby.."

"I'm sure it will be.. it's not unusual for a a baby's heart rate to be low.. and it's not unusual for it to pick back up again.. we'll soon find out.."

"Thanks.. I'm sorry I'm just really nervous.."

"Don't be.. I am here to help.. if you have any concerns or questions... feel free to ask.."

"What happens.. if it never picks up?"

"I believe it will.. you are very healthy.. and very early in your pregnancy.. but if we too.. we'll have to monitor you throughout your pregnancy.. and we'll take the required action if needed.."

"Okay.. I'm sorry again.. I'm just really scared.. this is what Robert really wants and I want to give him that.."

"Well.." she begins looking at the screen whilst moving it across my stomach.. "Let's see what we can find yeah?"

I try to stay as calm as I can.. thinking of what Robert told me.. that everything will be fine.. I close my eyes as the sound of the baby's heartbeat is loud in the room.. I let out a sigh of relief.. as to me.. that sounds perfect..