Lost It All

act 1

present day

Everything had been different ever since my mom died, I barely see my dad nowadays, he's either locked up in his room drinking or working. 

its like I've filled my mothers place. I take care of Sean now, also I just got a job a 3 years ago to support Sean and pay for his private school, I barely have time for myself now.

today felt more draining though. I didn't make my bed this morning because be honest who has time for that?

I went downstairs and made me some cereal.

"hey bud" I say with a mouthful of food in my mouth to my brother Sean as he walks down the steps. 

Sean has gotten bigger and taller than me.

"hey. uhm can we go somewhere today?" he says while grabbing my car keys and handing them to me. 

"sure! where to?" I say wiping my mouth and putting the bowl into the sink.

"Moms grave, I miss her today. more than normally." he says while fiddling with the hem of his shirt and looking down.

He never wants to go to moms grave, something must really be bothering him.

I raise an eyebrow and grab my keys from him and nodded. whatever my brother wishes for, I'll do it. It's just the person I am.

"Come on bud." I say walking to the front door then stopping and giggling to myself.

He followed after me then stopped too.

"Why'd u stop walking Saige?" he says crossing his arms and looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Last one into the car is a rotten egg!" I say sprinting while watching him sprint after me.

Gosh, I miss when I was a kid. We used to do this all the time when my mom was alive.

****

Me and Sean got back to the house at 10pm, lets just say we went to get food and went shopping for my moms grave before. 

We got some new flowers, Blue iris'. And Sean got her a cute teddy bear from Build A Bear. We sat at her grave, telling her about every new detail in our life that's happened while she's been gone.

We both miss her and love her so much. 

When we got home the lights were all off, strange. I unlocked the door with my key and let Sean walk in before locking it again.

"dad we are home!" Sean yells while walking to the kitchen.

I follow him into the kitchen because I was thirsty and wanted a bit of water or lemonade from the fridge.

when we enter the kitchen I spotted alcohol bottles. 

fuck.

I see my dad come in from the shadows with an empty glass in his hand.

"where have u guys been?" he says, I think he's.. mad?

"To visit mom! We got her her favorite flower and-" Sean was cut off by a glass shattering.

"Your mom is fucking dead Sean, what's the point of visiting her if she's fucking dead!" he says picking up a small piece of glass that shattered on the ground while walking towards Sean.

Hes drunk, overly drunk today.

"don't talk to Sean like that! " I say walking infront of Sean, blocking him.

"you look just like your fucking mother." he spat while picking me up by my throat and putting the glass piece next to it. 

My father changed after my mothers death. 

But that's still my father.

"Sean.. Go! Run out of here!" i look at Sean, he looks scared. He nods to me and runs out the house. 

My dad puts the glass piece closer to my throat. I feel the blood coming down.. it hurts.

I can't breathe, I use all my might trying to kick him but im scared he'll push the knife deeper in my throat.

He lets me go and I catch my breath quickly.

"Get out my fucking sight you pathetic piece of shit." he says grabbing his bottle off the counter and walking away.

I start crying. I want my mom back. everything has changed, I can't take it anymore.

I run outside to see where Sean went and I find him in the car. I hop in and look towards him, he's crying.

"Daddy.. I don't want to be here with Dad anymore." he says wiping his eyes.

"your a big boy okay? Dad just.. Maybe he just misses mom like we do.. And forgot we were his kids." I hug him. I hate seeing Sean cry.

"ill save up money and get an apartment, we can move far away from him." I say while trying not to cry while ruffling his hair.

"lets get back inside." I say while nodding to him and turning off the car.

"Saige..." he says to me

"Yeah what's wrong?" I stare at him and he looks at me.

"Your bleeding.. it's a lot Saige." he says pointing to my neck

shit.

****

- love you guys <33

writer one

writer two