Hi,

Chapter 16

I drop my bag on the floor and collapse onto my bed, burying my face in the pillow. I can't close my eyes without being dragged back into that closet, replaying every glance, every word. I groan and pull the bedsheet over my head, hoping it'll block out the memory.

There's a knock at the door, and my mom steps in without waiting for an answer.

"Honey, how was the senior trip?" she asks, crossing her arms with that classic mom-smile, ready to listen.

I pull the sheet away, forcing the best fake smile I can manage. "It was great, Mom! I'm just really tired, you know?" I say, hoping the shadows in my eyes don't betray me.

She tilts her head, and I know she sees right through me. My mom has this way of sensing things. Normally, I'd tell her everything. But this? I wouldn't even know where to start, and besides—there's nothing to say.

After a beat, she gives me a gentle, understanding smile, like she knows I need space. She closes the door softly behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I roll over, staring blankly at the ceiling. My mind replays all the things I should've said to Nathan, things I wish I'd had the guts to say.

Like, "I'm not getting in that closet with you, psycho." Or, "Touch me again, Nathan, and I'll bite your fingers off." Or even, "Are you serious about me, or are you just messing with my head?" But I didn't say any of that. I went along with it. I played his stupid game.

And I'm not delusional, but... something felt different in there. It's like I've become my own worst enemy, feeding this stupid hope that maybe he's changing for me. But that's a lie, isn't it? I don't even know if I want him to change. I just want him to stop driving me insane.

June told me once that Nathan has a "dark past" or whatever. Maybe that explains some of his actions, but it doesn't justify them. Still, it's enough to make me wonder.

In my mind, I picture two versions of how this could go. In one, he admits he likes me, that he wants something real. We'd laugh, kiss, argue, make up—together, in all our chaotic glory. But in reality? It'd be messier. More toxic. That's just who he is. Who we are.

And maybe, deep down, I crave the chaos. The anger, the passion, the twisted thrill of it all. Doesn't everyone want at least one wild love in their life? Maybe mine is supposed to be Nathan.

But there's another version, one where I'm just another girl he messes with until he's bored. He'll go back to ignoring me like nothing ever happened. I don't know if I could handle that.

Maybe I should end it first. Walk away before I get in too deep.

My phone chimes.

I close my eyes. Please, don't be him.

I slide it open just enough to see: New chat from NateCollins.

My heart sinks. I can't open it. Not yet. But my thumb moves on its own, revealing the message:

"When can I get you in a closet with me again?"

My stomach twists. What does that even mean? Is he thinking about it, too? Or is he just playing with me? I'm paralyzed, and then—before I can stop myself—I'm typing back.

Me: You won't.

He starts typing immediately. Damn, he's not holding back tonight.

NateCollins: Love when you play hard to get.

Never mind. He's definitely playing.

Me: I told you, I'm not playing anymore.

NateCollins: It's you who's playing.

Me: Whatever, Nathan. Leave me alone.

NateCollins: I can't.

Me: Why?

A pause. Long enough that I think he's given up. Then—

NateCollins: Because I can't let you go.

I feel my heart drop. Is he scared of this ending, too? Or is this just another one of his tricks? I stare at the screen, then close my phone, a knot of frustration and confusion tightening in my chest. I stand up, heading for the mirror. I look at my reflection, feeling a strange shame creeping in. Nathan looks like a literal god, and I... I feel like nothing.

Without thinking, I grab my coat and call out, "I'm going to June's," before heading out.

The autumn air is crisp, and the coolness feels like a slap to the face. I walk quickly, letting the rhythm of my footsteps drown out my thoughts. When I finally reach June's house, I knock on the door, regretting not bringing my phone.

June's mom answers with a warm smile. "Hi, Nancy! Is June here?"

She lowers her voice with a knowing look. "She's downstairs with a friend—Marco. You know him?"

"Yeah, Marco's... cool," I say, forcing a smile. Great. I already feel like the world's worst friend for disappearing into my Nathan drama.

Inside, I hear June's laughter drifting from the basement. I knock gently.

"Sorry to drop by unannounced. It's me, Mackenzie," I say awkwardly.

June opens the door and pulls me in for a hug. "What's up, Mack?" she asks softly . I shrug, but she gives me a knowing look, mouthing, "Nathan?" I shrug again, and she raises her eyebrows before pulling me into her room.

I frown. I'm not sure I want Nathan's best friend to know how much he's messing with my head.

"It's cool, Mackenzie. I don't blab," Marco says with a slight grin, lounging back.

June smirks. "Spill, Mackey-Naughty. It's about that closet thing, right?"

My cheeks flush. "You know me too well." I force a smile, then sigh and flop onto the bed.

Marco raises an eyebrow. "So, what did he do this time?"

I hesitate, glancing between them. It's awkward, talking about Nathan with his best friend right here. "Marco, be honest—do you know what he actually wants?"

Marco sighs, exchanging a glance with June. "Look, I can't say what's in his head. Nathan keeps his feelings on lockdown—mostly anger, if you haven't noticed. He's... complicated. For him, it might all just be a game." His eyes soften with sympathy, and I turn away, pretending not to care.

June wraps an arm around me. "Mackenzie, I think you scare him. Maybe that's why he acts out like this."

I let out a sharp, bitter laugh, rolling my eyes. "Oh, come on. I don't scare him, June. This isn't some cheesy teen drama where I 'tame the bad boy.'" I feel a wave of embarrassment rise in my chest, it's pathetic of me to think like that!

June frowns, reaching out as if to say something else. "Mack—"

But I'm already standing, brushing her off with a forced smile that barely reaches my eyes. "Look, thanks for listening, okay? I just... I'll see you at school."

I turn away quickly, feeling my face flush. The last thing I need is more talk about me being "special" to someone like Nathan.

As I walk home in the crisp night air, three options flash through my mind, each one messier than the last:

Play along.

Ignore him.

Or beat him at his own game.

________________________________________________________________________________Author's notes

Hi, I think Mackenzie is realising her life is a sim.

Big bad author is making her life a ridiculous teen romance story

MUAHAHAH!

It's okay, they always end well, right?

Right!?

-with love