Hi,

Chapter 12

After school, the boys and I decided to head to our favorite spot—not too far away, just a park up the mountain where all the misfits from our school gather. We usually go there to score some good stuff to smoke, far from any trouble. Honestly, I really needed to cloud my mind after the day I had. We brought some liquor and a little weed with us. When we arrived, we found a picnic table to set all our gear on.

I leaned back against the table and started drinking, hoping the booze would drown out the noise, especially Haze, who wouldn't shut up about the pop situation from earlier—the exact thing I was trying to forget. Him and her.

"Bro, it was black! You know what that means... no way that's a virgin bra," Dustin snickered, his grin way too proud of his "insight."

I rolled my eyes and took a swig straight from the bottle. Mackenzie's image flickered in my mind, her curves, her laugh—and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to push her out of my head. Connor shoved me, almost knocking me off balance, but I caught myself. The alcohol was hitting.

"Dustin, you wouldn't even hurt a virgin," I shot back, smirking.

"What the hell does that even mean?!" Marco doubled over in laughter.

I waved him off, taking another sip.

"Means your dick's too small to break anything, bro," I teased, grinning at Dustin's annoyed expression.

He shoved Marco, who was laughing too hard for his liking. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Nathan. You're just pissed because Haze's gonna get to Mackenzie before you do."

That stung, but I masked it with a grin. Before I could fire back, Haze took a deep drag from his joint and blew smoke in my direction.

"Nah, Nate's just mad he won't get to hear her relief scream... you know, when the pain turns into pleasure," Haze added with a gross smirk.

"Man, you're sick," Connor laughed, shaking his head.

"Prude!" Haze shot back, making obnoxious moaning noises. "I can already hear her..."

I snatched the joint from his hand and shoved his head lightly. "Clown," I muttered, taking a long hit, letting the weed calm my racing thoughts. A smile crept up my lips. This was kind of hilarious. Haze has no chance of getting with her... I am going to get to Mackenzie first. It's not just about proving people I can—it's about proving me right. I am in control here. Not Haze.

I exhaled slowly. "Haze, no virgin is coming anywhere near you," I said, shaking my head. "They want a guy who knows what he's doing... and we all know you don't."

"Yo, Nate, you're wrong," Marco chimed in, leaning in like he had some deep wisdom to share.

I raised an eyebrow. "Enlighten me."

"Virgins want passion, bro. They want slow builds, tenderness—all that crap. No girl's gonna want to be treated like a one-shot for their first time getting their back blow."

Dustin snorted. "Passion? Ha! Nate doesn't know what that is."

I shrugged, taking another hit. "Who needs passion when you know how to get the job done?"

Connor jumped in, "Maybe for one-night stands, but first times... it's different."

I looked over at him, feeling a little betrayed. I thought he was on my side. Shrugging again, I downed another swig. Passion, tenderness, slow builds—all that is just noise. Sex is getting what you want. End of story.

The conversation drifted into background chatter as I zoned out, scrolling through my phone, half-listening to the boys' banter. My Snapchat was blowing up—Lexi, Kara, Nicole, Janice, Brit, all sending late-night snaps. I considered hitting one of them up for a quick hook-up, just to keep my mind off Mackenzie.

A tap on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. Dustin handed me a tiny Ziploc bag with two little pills inside.

"What's this?" I asked, examining the pills.

Dustin just shrugged. I took one, washed it down with a swig of booze, and lay back on the table, watching the stars above becoming shooting stars.

This morning

I wake up feeling like there are needles in my eyes and a drum pounding in my brain. I smoked too much, drank too much, and whatever that pill was had me feeling incredible—at least for a moment. I was so high, but the landing... man, I'm achy. I stretch my arms and grab my phone. The guys have been texting in the group chat.

Dustin: You guys going to the field trip?
Marco: Yeah dude, we should all go. It'll be sick.
Dustin: I'll bring weed.
Connor: I'm down.
Haze: Wouldn't miss it... FIELD TRIP = ORGY.
Dustin: HAHAHA.

Shit... I forgot about that. The school organized a lame camping bonding trip for us seniors, and the guys and I thought it would be funny to go and mess things up. I really would prefer doing anything else right now, but I know all the seniors are going to be there—Haze, Mackenzie... her dumb ex-boyfriend or whatever. I can't afford to miss it. Cranky as hell, I bury my face in my pillow, weakly trying to end my days.

Before I can suffocate, the door swings open, and the lights in my room flick on.

"What the hell is this, Nathan?" my uncle shouts.

I sit up slowly, unfazed as I notice the little bag in his palm.

"Rough morning for both of us, apparently... That's a Ziploc bag, Uncle Jack," I say, standing up and scratching my head as I make my way to my dresser.

"You know damn well what I mean, you brat," Uncle Jack snaps.

He shoves me against the wall and holds me there. I push back, not wanting my back against the wall, but I let him have his power trip. My head pounds harder, and my vision still hasn't adjusted to the daylight. I can't help but grin when I say, "I don't know."

Uncle Jack pushes me against the wall again before stepping back. I giggle, feeling so hungover it's insane. I don't even know what's funny; I guess it's just anger at this point.

"Taking drugs you don't even know... You think you're so smart," he says. "I sure hope you didn't start—"

"No, I haven't. For shit's sake, Jack, leave me the fuck alone," I snap.

If he says another word, I'm going to explode. As if what happened two years ago was my fault.

He slams the door shut, and I kick my chair in frustration.

I have to get ready for that lame-ass field trip.

________________________________________________________________________________Author's notes

Hi, picture this: Uncle Jack looks like Johnny Depp

Jack --> Jack Sparrow... JOHNNY DEPP

Big fan, sir. 

Also, Nathan is getting fucked up, what are you trying to numb so desperatly, young man?

-with love