My fucked up poems

Hate

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I hate everything,

I fucking hate everything!

I walk in the bathroom, and sit on the toilet.

Flashbacks just fill my mind.

My dad on his knees, begging me to stop hurting myself.

I fucking hate everything!

My dad beating me for no damn reason.

I fucking hate everything!

Him hitting me just because he was pissed off a something.

I fucking hate everything!

Him hitting me just because he felt like it.

I fucking hate everything!

I can't do this anymore.

I fiddle the blade between my fingers.

I fucking hate everything!

I'm not suppose to do this,

I'm not suppose to fucking do this.

I fucking hate everything!

I promised him.

I can't help it.

I have to do this.

I fucking hate everything!

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

I'm always sorry.

I grab the blade tightly and cut my arm, once, twice, three times.

I fucking hate everything!

I let the blood come out.

I've missed this feeling.

The pain.

It calms me down.

I fucking hate everything!

I make a few more,

But then I realize the blood is quickly coming out.

I hurry to the sink,

And wash the the blood off.

I stand their for awhile focusing on the pain.

'A few more.' Something in my head tells me. 'A few more.'

"No." I tell it. "I can't, I promised."

'You already did it, why not?" The voice says.

"No." I raise my voice. "I'm sorry, I promised."

"Do it." It says.

"No, no, no, no, no, no." I repeat. "I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." I say. I collapse on the floor. Not really knowing who I'm talking to.

I really fucking hate everything!

(I don't know what this is...... a poem, I guess. Well, yeah)