Gardenia: A Review Shop

✿﹒{Katie} Miracle﹒％

❀﹒Client: p4ge__s00bin 

❀﹒Title: Miracle

❀﹒Reviewer: katiegoesmew

❀﹒Review: 54/140

First impressions: 21/40

Title: 10/10
"Miracle" is ambiguous and could mean almost anything and go almost any direction, but there's nothing wrong with that. There's a sense of hopefulness following pain as well, which works great with a drama.

Story description: 2/10
This is an interesting quote, but it's not a story description. I'd recommend looking into a resource like @justwriteit's chapter in their 8-Chapter Challenge on writing story loglines and pitches for tips on how to write a good story description. That's what I used when I first started on this site, and I still reference this chapter just about every time I have to write one: https://www.wattpad.com/1357752761-8-chapter-challenge-story-logline-and-pitch

Cover: 2/10
The image is great, but without the book title or your name, it's just a pretty picture. If you want to give graphics a try, I'd suggest using the Canva editor on the web version of Wattpad and playing around with things. You can upload this picture and then just add text, or you can look into other features, too. Or, if you don't want to deal with graphics, you could look into graphics shops and put in an order for a cover. Even if you don't really know what you want (like me when I ordered a cover), the talented artists on Wattpad are creative enough to fill in the blanks and come up with beautiful artwork.

First chapter: 7/10
Well, this is a very hard-hitting first chapter. It's immediately clear that Ha-rin and Yeongseo are hiding from something, and the tension is palpable. You've captured the responsible, caring older sister, worried but trying to keep it together so she can keep her little sister calm and shield her from whatever is happening. And then when you reveal what is happening, the switch from fear to grief and then anger is very well-done. You show her realistic wavering between rage and self-preservation when she confronts her dad, and then she's back in older sister mode, not even allowing herself to pass out because she needs to comfort Yeongseo and get her away from the horrible scene.

So, basically, you start the reader on an emotional roller coaster right from the start, something you're only able to do effectively because of how you've written your characters and made them real and relatable.

There are some grammar errors throughout the chapter, but nothing too major, and nothing that detracts from the story. Dialogue tags are the first issue I saw. Your dialogue is natural and generally well-done, but punctuation and capitalization when you transition into the dialogue tags can be messy. It looks like you have a good grasp of what makes a dialogue tag, though. It's an often incomplete sentence that directly describes who is speaking and how they're saying it, and it's actually considered part of the dialogue. So, the first word of the dialogue tag should be lowercase (unless it's a proper noun). Also, if the dialogue would normally end in a period, change that to a comma. There's no punctuation change for exclamation marks, question marks, or ellipses (...).

"Are mum and dad okay?" A small voice asked. → "Are mum and dad okay?" a small voice asked.
"My time has come for my love." She replied, "Take my locket, keep yourselves safe and look after your sister ." → "My time has come for my love," she replied. "Take my locket, keep yourselves safe and look after your sister."
With the second example, I think counting "she replied" as a dialogue tag for the first section of dialogue makes more sense than making it the dialogue tag for the second section. You've done the punctuation correctly if that is the dialogue tag preceding the next sentence, but a reply is something that immediately follows another statement or question, so linking that with the second sentence of dialogue almost makes it sound like she's replying to the first sentence of dialogue, which isn't the case. That's why I think it would work better linked to the first sentence, because that shows her responding to Ha-rin.
Also in that example, there was an extra space before the last period. Generally, you do spacing with punctuation correctly, but there are slip-ups here or there. Most of the time, punctuation should touch a word on one side (usually the left) and have a space on the other (usually the right). Opening quotation marks and opening parentheses are an exception, and for those, you just flip it around: space on the left and word on the right. Another exception is with closing quotation marks (and sometimes closing parentheses), where you'll have word, ending punctuation, ending quotation mark (or parenthesis), space.