Can I Be Okay Again?

Do Sorrys Always Work?

People say sorry means you won't do it again but what they don't know is that sorry means you will try your best not to do it again. I have said sorry a lot to a lot of different people but every time I'm meant it unless it was my Father because I had nothing to be sorry for, he did, all of it he owed me and apology and that's all I wanted.

Nathan said sorry and him saying sorry meant everything to me, those two words, seven letters, meant everything because I knew he was and he wasn't faking it, he wasn't lying, I could trust him again. When he said sorry he looked me in the eyes and said it, he meant it and all I could do was smile because I was at a loss of words of what to say to him. The part that sucked was when I saw him in the hallway and then in class. It fucking killed me because I was so hurt but during lunch it felt like someone was whispering to me "Just forgive him. He needs you to forgive him and if you don't you will hate yourself forever." I didn't even care about myself, only him and what he would go through because he looked so broken just sitting there at the lunch table. It wasn't the same without him. We are all family he needed to be there for us to feel complete and that's what I felt when me and him started acknowledging each other at lunch and then it went to after lunch, hen bathroom break, then during the outside walk around the building, then in class he wouldn't stop looking at me and I couldn't stop looking at him.

Our ELA teacher, we could tell, was getting mad with us not shutting up during her lesson but I just missed him so much all I wanted to do was talk to him and laugh and smile. He made me forget the bad things that happened to me and it felt like a break from reality and he would keep me there for over and hour and it felt so much better to be able to ignore a lot of the feelings my mind kept wanting to throw at me. I felt happier and better. We are now on the phone with each other for long periods of time laughing together and he makes me feel so much better, he makes me feel okay again.