Ruben Dias - One Shots (Second edition)

Not Ready Part 10

Readers sister dies in a tragic car accident, leaving reader and her boyfriend Ruben in the urgent custody of her niece and nephew. Readers' life is suddenly flipped upside-down since having children hadn't been the plan for her and Ruben's life together. At least not now, when his football career was reaching great new heights.

Enjoy! 💞

The funny thing about grief is its purpose. The purpose for you to feel all the emotions of losing a loved one. To somehow honor them with the spiking of all human senses. The blending of love, joy, pain and sorrow, all coming together to shut down the body with an overwhelming set of emotions. And if you can not feel these emotions, because you're life is too busy with a fabulous career, the entertaining of a dead-end relationship, an adventurous puppy and two kids depending their well being on you and only you, then grief will simply wait until your life settles down just enough for you to feel as deeply again.

"Honey, did you see your dad put sunscreen on the kids?"

You shifted in your chair, your mournful gaze peering through the kitchen window. There in the garden two laughing children were being chased around by an old man waving around a bottle of sunscreen. "Not yet." You muttered, your throat raspy with desert sand.

"Oh. Well I'm sure he'll catch them." The smiling old lady said as she stepped away from the window. You watched as she put a tea pot to a boil and threw together a plate of neatly made sandwiches.

Your stomach growled beneath you at the sight of them. However, they were for the children and the old man. Surely they'd be starving after spending the day outside doing yard work. You, on the other hand, had barely moved all day and the day before that, so what was the point of eating?

"Here you go, honey. Try to eat up."

A plate of sandwiches were placed before you, the smell of smoked ham and eggs teasing your nostrils.

"Tea will be ready in a minute." Said the old lady, pausing with a tea cup and a silver spoon in her hand. She waited for you to tilt your head and meet her eyes. You did so reluctantly since the slightest movement could trigger the pain you felt inside. Nevertheless, your efforts were rewarded with a smile. A familiar grin, spiking the memories of a forgotten face.

"We'll be having lunch out on the porch. Don't feel pressured to join us, darling." Was the old lady's last words before she delivered the tray of sandwiches to the old man and the children. Her appearance on the porch infatuated their joy. They gathered around her, while you watched from the inside. You watched as life went on without you as your will to live no longer existed if this was the way it was supposed to feel.

********************************************

"Auntie Y/N. Uncle Ruben is on TV again."

There was a knock on your door, the darkness in your room briefly lifted by the light slipping through. The young girl appeared between the crack. "Grandpa says his game is about to start." She lingered in the doorway, awaiting your response. Unfortunately it never came.

"Auntie, Y/N." Her voice was fragile, perhaps filled with more sorrow than your own. "Can you please stop being sad soon. I don't like it when you're sad."

You exhaled when the darkness returned, burying you in its depths. It's where you felt most at peace. Where your feelings made sense. In the darkness the strangers calling your name wouldn't be disturbed by your horrific sobbing.

You fell asleep with tears streaming down your cheeks, but woke up to a set of small hands wiping them away. A boy, small yet alert, stood by your bed, wanting to lay by your side. He had done so every night since your arrival to the old couple's house. And every night you would let him by shifting your body to make him room.

His head nuzzled into the crook of your extended arm, his sobs as horrific as yours. You would be of no comfort to him and he knew that very well. However, his grief and his silence were very comforting to you.

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