BE MINE

Buried Alive

If you hesitate between me and another person then don't choose me

It was around 10pm I stepped out of the washroom when Neil barged into my room unceremoniously, without a knock. A gasp skipped out of my chest he startled me. I moved few metres away and he mimicked my steps. My back collided with the wardrobe door, putting his arms in support both the side he trapped me. He is much taller than me, my head tilted up.I hope I don't get brain stroke because his mesmerizing eyes compelling me. I wonder if I have ever seen eyes like his before, this deep, captivating.

Neil: You are good at having things your way. Don't you? Nothing to deny it, his sarcasm hurts me yet I couldn't take my eyes off his piercing dark brown orbs searching for my soul.I can feel my heartbeats in my ears.

Avni: Neil. I said...I am sorry.My voice trembling unannounced having him in my room. I inhaled loudly. He has no idea how I am in a great struggle everyday coping up with this ill feeling when you know you did something bad to someone very close to you, that guilty feeling eats you up every seconds. Your subconscious won't be let you it pass. You can't be in peace until unless you won't fix it , or take it back whatever mistake you did. It is the most horrible things to experience for a person who is dying every second in repentance, nothing can give them solace, relief, nor they can find it in any other things. That's what I am unrepairable damaged. I hurt the person who is most dear to me, who did no harm to get such brutal treatment.I broke his heart terribly.

Neil: "Every text I get I hope it's you. You have no idea how badly I want your name to light up on my pH." His derisive tone vanished instead his voice came out as raspy, intimately low. The night suit I wore is comfortably loose, it's a little low neck cut. I felt his breathing too harsh on my neck. His gaze dropped to that spot for once before he languorously pulled away. My cheeks burned watching him.
I swallowed a hefty breath, following my action his adam apple blobbed too before he took his time to lean into me, looked in my eyes. Our forehead almost touching, I didn't realise when he moved this close, dangerously close trapping me with the intensity of his presence.
As if I can hear my own heart beating wildly. Before I barely could comprehend his words when in a swift motion he is few feet away leaving me missing the warmth he spread being that close. I am in loss of speech.
"I wish I had the power to ignore you, just like you ignore me. Your fucking sorry can't fix this." His words dripping repugnance, jaws ticked because of his clenching it painfully hard.
"I want you. I want to be with you, it is as simple, and as complicated as that." His voice came out vehement, he paused letting the tension build. His eyes locked with mine when I gaped into those dark brown deep orbs. His vibes, his words doing things to me I can't explain. There is an unsaid pull between us I can almost see it, the sudden change of air in room is too thick to be ignored.
He is just too good, take him in. My subconscious having heart eyes like those we see in anime movies, and I blinked rapidly blocking her.

"Alright I take it back every hurtful words I said you yesterday. Ofcourse not for the entire part, Only the last part I am sorry for. I shouldn't have said those stuffs related to your mental health. And the other things I told you, you deserved it. I was mad, really mad at you. I am sorry okay. Let's start a fresh. Please" One minute he is agitated, insulting me with his scornful remarks then the next moment he is confessing his heart out. He is so unfathomable, bipolar. This is so insane. I gazed at him, unsure of what to say.
It's like a tug of war between her brain and her heart listening to his words. Her heart wants to take him in, on the other side her brain want to push him out.

"It's getting a real struggle for me to keep holding up the resentment I suppose to feel for you, which is so fake on my part. I can be mad with you but I can't hate you. It is so hard not talking to you" His voice back to intense. His eyes dark searching something in my face, my soul. My heart picked at the sight. It is hard for me too.
Neil put his hand on my shoulder both sides pinning me with his pleading gaze.
" I can't marry Tina. I don't love her likewise You don't love Advay you just made up a story to push me away now I know it.
We are the real couple here. Neil and Avni. We do. Can't you see?" Yes I can see it but I am lacking guts to break Tina's heart in the process. A twing of pain passed through me at his hopeful gaze. He wants us together, I can't have him. My inner self is in a mess for betraying him.