Dying love.

~Alex~

His lips left mine and his arms went limp, falling against his side. Now it was his turn to have the heat rush into his pale cheeks- They were paler than i remembered. He tried to say something but I cut him off, and turned around. I couldn't look at him when I said that I can't be with him.

'okay, listen. Emmet, you are suppose to be with Clare. You can't just come running into these trees, expecting to become superman. You can't just find me and kiss me. That's just screwed up. Okay? Emmet- ' I heard nothing. I spun around and saw a empty forest. On the log emmet was sitting on. Was a clean white piece of paper. Written on it, was a letter, and at the bottom was directions to the fire. The letter read;

'alex, 

my days are numbered. I recently found out I am living with the final stage of lung cancer. Nothing can be done to stop it now. 

If you are reading this that means either, i have already passed, or am close to it. 

Alex, you are beautiful. You can bring light to the dimmest of any rooms. The size of your heart brings joy to the saddest of people.

But your eyes can capture anyone. They can capture your heart in one blink. can make you feel trapped in time. 

Alex, smile. Please, show the confidence you deserve. 

Now, I won't tell you where my last days will be spent, but know I will die happy, knowing you will finally know how I feel. 

I love you Alex. 

Goodbye.'

Somehow, while I read the letter, I sat down. I realized my cheeks were wet. I watched a tear drop to the paper and saw it roll off the page. After that, more came. I thought it would never stop.

How could I have never known? How could he never tell me he was- dying? How didn't I see the signs? The pale cheeks, the gasping breaths. Anything? Now he was gone. I took a last look of the paper and the directions. I pulled out the plastic baggie that held crackers in it before. I folded the paper carefully and stuffed it in the bag. I dropped to my knees and tore at the earth. Brings rocks and dirt with me. Once I had a good two feet dug, I placed the note inside. Then buried it again. It was my note. Not anyone else's, no one else could see it. That's why I had to leave it there. After that I threw a short tantrum. Screaming out why? Why emmet? Caring , thoughtful emmet? It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair he was only 17! It wasn't fair I had to be only 15! It wasn't fair that he had to die. I rocked back and forth on my heels. I shoved the palms of my hands against my cheeks and stood up. Remembering the diagram, I headed left.